Episode Report Card Omar G: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Follow Me. Zor-Else!
By Omar G | Season 7 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.14.2007
Daily Planet. Chloe notices that Lois seems to be working hard. Lois says she's trying to get an eclipse story done before the sun goes down on her career. Lois is frustrated with her keyboard and wonders why they couldn't put the keys in alphabetical order. They do have those, you know. Chloe pokes a huge hole in the story Lois is working on. She says the scientists are saying it wasn't an eclipse at all, but a huge circular shadow caused by water molecules. Lois says she has an astronomer who said something else. Lois says it's going to be a two-inch tall headline. Boy Editor walks in, ragging on Lois for working in slow motion. "Just keep your pants on," Lois says, earning a look from Chloe. Lois says she just needs a sec. "You snooze, you lose!" he bellows. He says someone on the third floor has already submitted his piece and it's going as tomorrow's headline. There's no room for other stories in the paper? Boy Editor suggests Lois try a typing class. He leaves. Chloe leans over and figures they must have had the Dear John conversation. Followed by the Dear Paris sex on the desk again. Lois goes along with that and lies that things are getting awkward. Chloe says, a bit sarcastically, you'd think Grant would be man enough to treat Lois like everyone else. Lois doesn't see the irony. She's irony-deficient. Lois is a big, dumb shit liar. Lois receives a text message: "Already miss you. Can't wait until tonight -- GG." Vomit. Lois smiles dreamily.
Lair of Lex. Lex is telling someone on the phone that none of their satellites were affected and they just lost a few megawatts of power in their solar facilities. He tells his lackey to proceed as planned. Boy Editor walks in. He tells Lex that he and Lois are no longer sharing a toothbrush. You were sharing a toothbrush? Gross, dude. "It's over," he tells Lex. Lex tells him it's for his own good. "Are these for my own good?" Boy Editor asks. He throws a handful of surveillance bugs on the desk. He asks if he's Lex's own private reality show. Lex says he's keeping an eye on him so he won't get into trouble. Boy Editor is pissed. He says he's not a rat in one of Lex's labs. Lex agrees. He apologizes for going overboard. Grant says they can't keep this a secret forever. He says he's not afraid of Papa Luthor. Lex says he should be. "No one can know," he says. Lex thinks Papa Luthor would kill him. "He's my father. You're my brother," Boy Editor says. Do WHAAAAT!? The dramatic music of surprise plays. Lex explains, in a badly expository way, that Papa Luthor gave up Grant (er, Julian) for adoption after faking the boy's death because his wife was terminally ill. Lex thinks Papa Luthor won't want that skeleton out of the closet. Boy Editor thinks it was a long time ago. Lex says there's no statute of limitation on leaving your kid out in the cold. Lex thinks he'll be better off as Grant Gabriel. "My name is Julian Luthor," Boy Editor says. Lex says he's not outside this room. All right, this pretty much fucks up a significant portion of Lex's mythology, unless Julian is a clone and doesn't know it, which is very likely. Either way, this is some old bullshit right here.