Episode Report Card Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT How To Lose A Mom In Ten Days
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 17 | Aired on 03.07.2005
Michel wanders into the room holding two big shopping bags, wearing sunglasses and a green blazer over a t-shirt. "There he is!" he smiles. "Who missed Michel?" Lorelai calls it a trick question. Sookie asks how he enjoyed California. Michel: "Oh, you know. It is insanity." Hee. I love Michel. He asks, "What is different about me?" Sookie guesses it’s the sunglasses he's wearing indoors. Michel corrects her, informing her that he's wearing "eyewear," and that everyone in Los Angeles wears pairs and pairs of eyewear. Actually, we're wearing sunglasses. And it's because the sun is crazy bright out here. The air is so filthy that the sun bounces off all the little smog particles in the air and it hurts to have your eyes open because the air is filled with crap and the sun is glinting off every single molecule around you and if you don’t wear sunglasses and take Claritin on the hour you can't even open your puffy, watery eyes. HOL-lee-wood! Dun-nuh-nuh-NA-NA-NA-NA HOL-lee-wood! And did I mention the rain? We're weather babies. Michel's t-shirt features a picture of a palm tree, and it says "Palm Tree" under it. God, that's hysterical. Michel says he belongs in Los Angeles, where everybody is thin and gorgeous. You mean like Stars Hollow? Hmm. Michel must not have gone to the Farmer's Market. Michel then gives a big-ol' shout-out to my old Coffee Bean, saying, "There's this place on Sunset Boulevard? A Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf? Everybody there talks exactly like me!" That is hilarious and pretty much true, except that everybody there is Persian, and smokes really stinky cigars. It's the most celebrity-spotting Coffee Bean next to the one on Beverly and Robertson. Michel also got some Botox from Dr. Woo. "She's a genius; everyone goes there." He also got some veneers from Nick Lachey's dentist. All Michel needs is a dog in a bag and he's good to go. Part of me wonders if this is what Al Lowe, Omar G, and AB Chao think I'm like since I moved from Texas.
Michel shakes his bags and announces that he has gifts. "Oh! The shopping out there! Unbelievable!" He mispronounces Rodeo Drive, which Michel would never, ever do, unless he was actually shopping on Rodeo Drive, which boasts the place we like to call Targhetto. Michel has brought Lorelai a smog globe: "They are so funny in California." I'm starting to think Michel did go to the Farmer's Market. Michel brought Sookie He's Just Not That Into You. Michel says he "heard" it's a fabulous book, "and so true." Ha. Don't tell Jackson. Michel says his best news is still to come. Lorelai asks if he got his boobs done by Pamela Anderson's guy. Michel says no, but he did meet that man at The Coffee Bean. Hee. Michel then starts talking about the Farmer's Market. I didn't see this episode last night because the Lakers pre-empted it, so I am watching it now, while recapping, for the first time. I read the recaplet, but that's all I knew going into this recap, so I had no idea Michel was going to discuss the Farmer's Market. Hilarity. Because I knew he was going to go on The Price Is Right, so I was going to make a joke about how it's amazing that he got on the show without being at the Farmer's Market, and now here it is. And I want an Ultimate from The Coffee Bean right now.