Episode Report Card Pamie: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT They've Got the Boat; They Just Need the Shark
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 10 | Aired on 11.29.2004
Paris is hard at work at her arts and crafts table when Rory comes in, bragging about all the Yale stuff she bought for Anna. She must have spent a couple hundred dollars on all things Bulldog. Rory doesn't seem to know that the "soda cozy" is actually a "beer koozie." Homegirl needs to attend a kegger. Paris calls every girl under the age of seventeen "the enemy," because they come to take the next generation's jobs and starter husbands. Rory asks Paris to be gone when Anna arrives so that Paris doesn't scare her off. Paris: "Me? Scare her off? Please. She's the one with the alabaster skin and perky breasts." As Rory goes to answer the door, Paris announces that Eve Harrington has arrived. Anna is not too different from Hannah in face, voice, or story arc. This episode is scarfy. Rory apologizes in advance for Paris. I just wasted twenty minutes trying to figure out what that "Space Cowgirl: Martian Menace" poster is behind Rory. Is it from Cowboy Bebop? And then, who's the guy in the other poster? Emily is going to freak out when she sees how they've trashed that armoire holding the entertainment system. Marty shows up and asks whether Anna's presence means that Paris has moved out. "I'm right here, Marty," Paris says. Without moving a muscle, Marty immediately says, "I know, Paris." Marty leaves to put the food in his own refrigerator. "You have boys bringing you food?" Anna asks. Rory calls Yale "magical." Except that boys have been bringing her food her entire life.
Yale Yale Yale, blah blah blah. I spend this time sending songs into my iPod. I highly recommend the ridiculous single by Robert Downey Jr. It's called "Broken," and he sings in a fake Irish accent, and holy cow, it's hilarious. Oh, my God. Rory is still reciting Yale facts. What else could we talk about? Because it's just boring to hear. I don't want to go to Yale, do you? Why do I need to know about their bench, or Mr. Yale, or anything Rory says after the last time she broke Dean's heart? Then Rory realizes that the five minutes of Yale facts she just spouted were about some other bench than the one they're standing in front of.
Rory tells Anna that there's a rumor that you get your degree automatically if you become fluent in Latin, Greek, and Hebrew. "Imagine all the tables you could wait with those skills," she jokes. At UT, there was a rumor that you got an automatic 4.0 if your roommate committed suicide. Rory brings Anna to the newspaper room, prepping her for the incredible intensity of a room buzzing with scoop and impending deadlines. But when Rory opens the door, the place is pretty much empty, and quiet, and resembles the Yearbook room, where I worked for two years. Yes, I was on Yearbook. Yes, I'm Lisa Simpson. Paris and Doyle burst into the room, already fighting. Rory tells Anna that this is the real heart and soul of journalism -- an editor asking his journalist to reveal her source -- but it turns out Doyle's angry because Paris took his pen. Rory gets a cell-phone call and immediately walks away to answer it because the Gilmores have no social skills.