Episode Report Card Sara M: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Probst Hates Fang
By Sara M | Season 17 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.02.2008
There's a stampede of African cattle -- look out, Mustafa! -- and then we're back at Camp Fang, where the mood has lightened considerably. Crystal tells us that it felt good to win, and even better to see Kota suffer the pain of losing and have to "walk away with [their] heads down." Crystal has to walk with her head down a lot, lest she take off the top of the doorframe, or a bridge. Matty says Fang finally felt like a team while Dan tells them how awesome it was when he was about to lose it and called out for Crystal's help and she came through. Randy's take on that moment is that Dan said "come on, bitch! Come on, bitch!" Dan did not say that, because, unlike Randy, Dan has respect for women and is a generally pleasant person.
Back at Kota, Ace is spinning their loss as a "strategic withdrawal" and says "we moved our forces back in perfect retreat." Ace, this is Survivor, not Conquest of the Roman Empire. Bob looks on the bright side and says that now they'll have their strongest women for the immunity challenge. Marcus says one of Fang's strongest players is a girl and Paloma says she "didn't stand a chance." I think she could have stayed on the pole for a much longer time if she went up against G.C. instead of Crystal. Paloma tells us that "Crystal, which is on their team, is huge." And Paloma, which is on Kota, isn't good at grammar. Paloma says that's especially evident compared to her, as she's "the shortest person alive." Whatever you say, Madge. Paloma continues that she didn't have a chance against Crystal (notice how no one mentions the awesome sheer power that isn't Randy) and finds it "weird" that Ace put her on the pole instead of Sugar. Yeah, he set you up to fail and you let him. That's more stupid on your part than weird on his.
Elsewhere, Marcus seems to agree, saying that they should have put Kelly in instead of Paloma. Ace says Paloma "had" to go in. Marcus says they could have put Paloma on the puzzle or something; she wouldn't necessarily have been a liability in the immunity challenge. "She basically just sealed her fate, so ... " Corinne says, seemingly out of nowhere. Ace feels the need to point out that Sugar did well, which is surprising. I didn't think Ace was capable of thinking about anyone except himself. Maybe Sugar is not a horrible judge of character after all and is onto something when she says Ace will take care of her. Marcus says they're "stuck" with Paloma for now. Huh. It seems that everyone on Kota hates Paloma out of nowhere. Ace tells us Paloma "gave up" during the challenge. Apparently he can't tell the difference between G.C. and Paloma. Ace says Paloma's "contract of death" has been signed with her poor performance.