Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: D | 4 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT The Helo Suit
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.10.2007
Later in Joe's Bar, more of that crappy bar music is playing. Lee calls Racetrack "Hands of Stone," and Connor calls her "Marge," and I don't know which I like less. Helo comes in and Starbuck "quips" about "here comes Mellorak man," and Gaeta's smoking a cigarette without putting it through Connor's face, which I guess shows improvement from last week's neck-stabbing behavior, and they talk about the Sagittarons, and Chief randomly addresses the Helo Suit and the room at large: "Yeah, well, you'll get no tears from me. It's bad enough my gang's gotta sweat through their stench. I have a feeling one of these days we're gonna wake up in the morning, I'm gonna be really pissed 'cause we're out of meds, 'cause those frackoids saw the light and now we gotta share." Lee waits until this entire speech is over before "interrupting" and telling Chief to throw the ball at the thing, which is what they're doing the whole time, because the only thing Michael Angeli sucks at more than life is writing convincing downtime. Lee's wife is Sagittaron, see. Chief sits down and points out how "none of those religious freaks lifted a finger on New Caprica against the Cylons," and Lee again tells him to shut up, and again he doesn't, relating how "a lot of good Resistance people lost their lives," and finally Lee just tells him to shut up, and Chief brightly apologizes to Dualla, who blows it off because she hates them more than anybody. And MAN do I not like having the black girl on the cast tacitly approving the racism against her own people, based on the fact that they're "pigheaded and argumentative," and thus writing the rest of the cast a pass for their prejudices, which she shares at the same time that they don't apply to her. She keeps ranting about how "Medicine's an abomination, it's a sin against the Gods. Physicians are reading disease, because they refuse to acknowledge that the body and the mind are myths," and Lee kisses her and informs her that "this body's no myth," and she giggles, and everybody tries not to fucking barf, and Kara rolls her eyes, and whatever. Stupid. Dualla says -- in preparation for the final act -- that if she gets sick, she's going to Robert, not Cottle, who she suddenly hates. And then she offers a "witticism" about how the "nearsighted bastard may as well use a spike instead of a needle," and everybody fake-laughs politely because Dualla made a funny and this is the part where we laugh, I guess. Except it's like the script said, "Then Dualla makes an uproarious joke about Cottle and everybody laughs," but when it was time to actually make up the joke, nobody had anything to run with.
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