Episode Report Card Sars: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Guess Who's Coming To Dinner
By Sars | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.23.1999
Montage of everyone arriving at the Ryans', including a weird shot of Bessie and The Flash chit-chatting. Joey remarks to Dawson, "It's weird to see your parents together -- they seem to be getting along," and Dawson says mildly, "So it would appear." Grams and Jen greet everyone at the door. It seems like the editor could have chopped out the part where Katie Holmes obviously can't walk in heels, but whatever.
Cut to Jen at the door of her room; she's come to drop off coats, and she finds her mother primping in front of the mirror. Jen apologizes for interrupting. Helen makes over-eager "we can share" noises. Jen doesn't take the bait and makes to leave, but Helen stops her and asks her to help her with her zipper. Okay, sidebar. If the writers expect us to buy Helen as a New York socialite, they need to cast someone thirty pounds thinner, dress her in Prada, and dye her hair blonde, because Mel Harris just doesn't get it done. Anyway. Jen zips her mother up. They look at each other in the mirror, and Helen says, "My god, you're getting so beautiful," even though Jen's hair has seldom looked fuglier than it does in this particular shot. Jen looks down, and Helen apologizes and asks if she said something wrong, and Jen says no, but when Helen prods her, Jen talks about how she remembers watching Helen get ready to go out as a little girl: "I just studied your every move." "Like I was the most important person in the world," Helen adds. "Something like that," Jen says, near tears. Helen suddenly remembers that she has something for Jen, something her mother gave her at about Jen's age, and she figures "it's about time to pass them on." She hands Jen a velvet envelope containing a string of pearls.
Jen murmurs, "They're beautiful, Mom. You know I've always thought so." Helen nods. Jen goes on, "But I can't." "Why not?" Helen asks. "Because where would I wear them?" Jen asks. "I mean, at home, maybe, but -- I mean, in New York, maybe, but here? And this is where I live now." Helen urges her to keep them, suggesting that Jen wear them on special occasions, but Jen says grimly that Helen taught her "pearls lose their luster if you don't wear them." Just in case we didn't get it, Jen fixes Helen with a meaningful look and adds, "I guess they're like people in that regard, you should keep them close to your skin." At that moment, the guy from the cotton commercial flys over my building in a chopper and drops off his anvil. Thanks, Cotton-Commercial Guy. "Please," Helen says, but Jen says she has to help Grams in the kitchen. Helen watches her go, with an expression that looked sort of like "bemused," but a lot more like "constipated." Dear Mel Harris: We know that, during your gig as Hope on thirtysomething, you could get away with standing around and looking maternally luminous, but that won't cut the mustard anymore. Get an acting coach. Signed, the world.