Episode Report Card Sars: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT First Encounters Of The Close Kind
By Sars | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.14.1999
Meanwhile, Jack gets the scoop from The Artist. The Artist goes to a sniffy prep school, and when Jack asks what brings him back to "claustrophobic Capeside," The Artist says ruefully, "Heartbreak. I need a little parental TLC, some chicken soup, and the comfort of my childhood bed." "Long relationship?" Jack asks. "Two years," The Artist says, adding, "It feels like a divorce, I swear." Jack sips his coffee, unaware of The Masculine Pronoun Of Great Portent lying in wait for him in The Artist's next utterance, and The Artist continues, "Not to mention that I see him every day at school -- it's like we're broken up but still living together." Jack can't help staring at The Artist, who smiles and asks, "What's the matter, I get under the gaydar?" A chastened Jack looks at his lap; The Artist says that everyone tells him he's the straightest gay guy they know, then asks Jack, "What about you?" "What about me?" Jack says. "Can people tell right away?" The Artist asks. Jack makes a face and asks, "How can you tell -- is it that obvious?" The Artist, who should really give the whole world-weary routine back to Jen soon because it's starting to work my nerves, chuckles indulgently, "Actually, yeah. I mean, not in a raging queen way, but more in a --" and Jack breaks in, "More in a -- what way?" and The Artist finishes, "A babe-in-the-woods, newbie way." "Newbie?" Jack repeats worriedly, and The Artist expounds, "Any sweet inexperienced young gay man destined for a broken heart." Jack and I both roll our eyes, and Jack grumbles sarcastically, "You make it sound so inviting." The Artist, all superior: "Let's face it, most guys are clueless." Jack, all scared: "How do you mean?" The Artist, looking out the window wistfully: "You'll see." Jack doesn't look like he wants to see, particularly. The Artist asks Jack his name, and they introduce themselves. The Artist's name is Ethan. Ethan, Jack; Jack, Ethan. Ethan, eyebrow tweezers; tweezers, Ethan.
Elsewhere in the station, A.J. hopes he didn't keep Joey up all night, and Joey says he talked for eight hours about Ulysses. ["Which I guess is her way of implying that she got a full night's sleep." -- Wing Chun] A.J. babbles on about feeling passionate about literature or something. Joey smiles. A.J. -- dubbed "Mr. Staypuft" by the Couch Baron, and in truth he does look a little fluffy in this scene -- asks Joey, "What about you, Joey Potter? What are you passionate about, what do you ache for?" Better dialogue, I'll wager, but Joey says she doesn't know; she wishes she did, but for the last couple of years, she'd gotten wrapped up in Dawson, and she knows that's pathetic. She trails off, and A.J. asks if they're together, and Joey says no, which prompts A.J. to throw out a higher-math principle that no English major worth his salt would know about. He does a terrible job explaining it, but sums up by saying that Joey needs distance from the situation. They flirt a little. A.J. asks if could "phone" her sometime. Joey says, all smiles, "It wouldn't suck." All right, all RIGHT -- aw. A.J. has a pen, but neither of them has a piece of paper, so Joey takes about a month to write her number on A.J.'s hand while he googles at her. Then they take another week or two to say goodbye before Joey can get on the train. Dawson happens by as Joey is boarding and introduces her to Nikki, and Joey says hi to Nikki and Dawson and turns to wave at A.J. again, and Dawson asks all nonchalantly, "Who's that?" and Joey answers just as nonchalantly, "My roommate," and Joey squeezes past him and Nikki into the train car, and Dawson hangs back to let the girls go ahead of him, and as he starts to follow, he looks back at A.J. and furrows his gargantuan brow.