Episode Report Card Keckler: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Buggy Dearest
By Keckler | Season 3 | Episode 17 | Aired on 02.24.2004
Quantum studies his computer with the intensity of one trying to determine if Jon Stewart's tan is peeling as T'Pol and Trip walk in. Not that I study Jon Stewart that intensely or anything, nor do his delicately touched with grey locks appear in my dreams. Because they don't. And the fact that I think Jon Stewart should be captain of the Enterprise with Lewis Black as his Number One tells you nothing. NOTHING! Trip informs Quantum what happened to the Bug House ship when they crashed into that spaceberg, and Quantum announces that Phlox figured the Bug Houses didn't die on impact -- they suffocated. "Most of the crew appeared to have died when they transferred their life support to the hatchery," T'Pol agrees. "They sacrificed themselves to save their children," Quantum adds, and orders Trip to repair the bio-support in the hatchery. Both Trip and T'Pol are agog, and "with all due respect" wonder at his choice not to hasten off to Azati Prime. "Have you ever noticed that 'with all due respect' is so overused that it really doesn't mean what it's supposed to mean anymore?" Dr. Mathra wonders. I agree; it's sort of like "No offense, but -- you're an asshole!" Trip's confused as to why they don't just "take a plasma torch to that place." Okay, mob mentality, party of Trip. "What if we found a nursery filled with thirty-one infant primates? Would you want to torch them?" Quantum asks. Dude, that's WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING ALL ALONG! Well, at least since we first saw the Bug Houses and Snake Eyes in the first episode of this season that I've been saying that. Trip's confused. Again. Some more. Quantum thinks that by leaving the egg cartons uncracked, they will prove to the Xindi that they are not bloodthirsty omelet eaters. Trip tells him he's talking crazy talk: "These people are tryin' to keel us." Quantum tells him his mind's made up and he will lead the Engineering team, because he wants Trip and May-hew on board, figuring out the Bug House sh'pod. Trip tries one more time to protest but Quantum orders them away.
Quantum logs that his decision to make everyone stay and sit on the eggs was a good one. Trip and May-hew examine the Xindi sh'pod. "These people culd larn a thang or two about designing a comfortable chair," Trip bitches. "For an Insectoid, maybe they are comfortable," May-hew notes. Yeah! Stop being so species-ist, Trip. Trip determines that almost half the sh'pod's power is routed to structural integrity. "Oh, just because they're Bug House doesn't mean they have to have sh'pod with an EXOSKELETON!" Dr. Mathra complains. They play with buttons, and May-hew manages to turn out all the lights. "I don't think this ship likes us," May-hew sighs. Maybe if you use Bug House vomit on the controls it will like you more. Yo, Mayweather's mouth looks totally CGI'd in this scene! It's scary and making me wonder about deep and dark things.