Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Reality Bites
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 13 | Aired on 1999.07.23
Couple things before I start: I'd like to thank the Farscape posters for buying me the first-season DVD set after I recapped "Premiere." Also, I'm aware that I referred to a certain character as "Zhann" instead of the correct "Zhaan." I blame Ben Browder for pronouncing her name like it should be followed with the words "of Green Gables." And before you get too stuck on that mental picture, let's settle into the episode.
Red roses are in the foreground as we open with Crichton declaring to some blonde underneath him, "You are the tastiest thing that I have had since last night." Considering that he's (a) Crichton, and (b) shirtless, it probably goes without saying that the feeling is mutual. They make out for a bit until Crichton realizes that something else is on the blonde's mind, and she tells him she's taking "the Stanford job." Crichton rolls off the blonde, no doubt able to recognize "the Stanford job" as meaning "something that means we will no longer be having sex on even a semi-regular basis." He is a rocket scientist, you know. Anyway, the blonde, "Alex," is getting a full scholarship in California while Crichton's got a shot at the space program in Florida. Also, Alex's bags are clearly already packed, so as he turns away from her, she tells him that she'll always be there for him, a thought that we know Crichton will latch onto in a delusional state. Hard to believe that Crichton losing mental faculties is a theme that's still relatively new at this point in the series. Anyway, we pan down to see a couple of half-full champagne glasses and a box with a wedding ring in it. He dejectedly closes the box, and then puts on a brave face and sighs, "Well, if we're meant to be together, we'll be together." It's just as well it's ending now, Crichton. If you couldn't hack a bi-coastal relationship, you really would have had some problems once this show started. Alex smiles and tells him she loves him, and he returns the thought. They kiss and roll toward the cameraâ¦
â¦and in a nice cut, Crichton gets pitched out of his bed on Moya. He sleeps in his boxer briefs and nothing else, by the way, and thanks to whatever spatial phenomenon is tossing him around the room like a rag doll and making that abundantly clear. He finally steadies himself and runs outâ¦
â¦and on the bridge, we see that Moya is in starburst. As Crichton, not dressed, appears on the bridge, Pilot whines to D'Argo that he doesn't have any answer for them. He doesn't add that he might be doing better for them if he had that extra arm they cut off a few episodes ago, an incident I'm sure I'd be taking every reasonable opportunity to remind them of and then some. Crichton notes that the starburst is taking quite a bit longer than normal, and Rygel snarks, "Hail, Prince of the Obvious." This may be one of those episodes where I like him. Aeryn and Zhaan appear as Moya finally comes out of starburst, and Pilot, via Clamshell Cam, informs them that Moya herself initiated the process, as she thought she heard the distress call of another pregnant Leviathan. I think Moya just wants a sympathetic ear so she can bitch about the band of freaks she has to cart around. Again, that's just what I'd do. Rygel makes a comment not overly noteworthy except for the fact that it tells us he has multiple wives, a revelation over which Crichton gives him a high-five. Yes, Crichton, you certainly were cavalier enough about the institution of marriage when you were trying to stop the tears from dripping into your cheap champagne.