Episode Report Card Cate: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Monkey Business (1)
By Cate | Season 7 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.15.2002
After RevCam foils Ruthie's plan and she leaves, Annie comes into the living room. She's not as blatant this time, but you can tell she still wants RevCam to join her for some nookie. He's still too busy worrying about his kids, and he has some sort of unspecified plan he needs to set in motion. Annie warns him, "You really should think about whatever it is you're thinking of doing, and don't do it." I'm sure she's finally right about something.Down on the Promenade, Lucy and Pea-Brained Moron Kevin are fighting some more. This time it's about Lucy not telling him that she dated Robbie. It's such a boring argument that Kevin gets up to leave. He drags Roxanne off with him, leaving Lucy and Robbie mighty confused. They yell at each other a bit before getting distracted by Simon and Cecilia making out on a bench a little ways away. When Robbie suggests that Studly Simon might be thinking of sex, Lucy panics and tries to get Robbie to have a manly chat with him. Normally I'd be disappointed that Lucy wouldn't consider doing that herself -- after all, she is his older sister -- but considering how stupid she's become, it's probably better just to let her concentrate on inventing paranoid fantasies and picking fights with her boyfriend. Robbie sulks about the fact that he thinks Kevin is being perceived as the "new Matt." Oh, please. Dopey has at least twice the IQ of Kevin, I'm sorry to say.
Over by the make-out bench, some guy comes along and asks Simon, "Hey, are you making out with my girlfriend?" Ashlee gets to deliver her big dramatic line of the evening when she says, "If I'm your girlfriend, then why were you making out with another girl right here just last night? Oh, wait -- not just last night. The night before and the night before that." Man, that's hokey, even for a Spelling show. Simon gets up to leave after telling Cecilia to call him if things don't work out with this guy. Lucy watches events unfold and then says, "Ain't love grand," in a way that makes me long to smack her.
Down at the pool hall, Mary and Captain Jack are having what looks like a pretty tense date. Mary takes him to task for just showing up, uninvited, at her parents' house. Jack boringly explains that he won't be comfortable going out with her unless her parents are comfortable with it. He adds, "That's the kind of guy I am. I don't want to sneak around." He's just convincing Mary that their relationship should be out in the open when someone behind him asks, "But what about Ben?" Ah, yes -- it's Pea-Brained Moron Kevin, of course, here to save the day. Jack gives them some privacy so that Kevin can rake Mary over the coals for dating Jack. Kevin tries to make Mary think that Jack is dating her because he only wants "one thing." Since this is 7th Heaven, I'm guessing that "one thing" is a stupid make-out session on the couch. Kevin keeps getting worse and worse, and by the time he calls Jack a "pervert" for going out with a younger woman, I'm wondering why Mary doesn't just crack him over the head with her pool cue. I'm sure it would be considered justifiable homicide.