Episode Report Card Jeff Long: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Incredible Hoofer
By Jeff Long | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 05.01.2008
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.You are kidding me.
Ugh, this week the dancers are doing Broadway dance. Jason Alexander, the artistic director of Reprise! (and also the star of Seinfeld plus a Tony winner, but I'm being bitter so I won't really mention that), arrives and tells all of the dancers that they will be dancing to music from Damn Yankees. Sounds great.
The choreographer auditions all of the dancers with big baseball bats and, heavy as they are, the girls (Janelle and Mochi) make it into the winning group. That's very convenient, considering there are no other women in the competition and the dance is the Joe vs. Lola dance. Anyway. Cody and Nick are the males in the winning group. Cody's arms are made of granite and we should all unite and worship. I'm just saying -- it would improve the health of the nation. Even though he's Canadian.
Oscar, Michael, and Miguel are in the elimination group. Jerry and Oscar have a heart-to-heart or, rather, a plastic-to-heart because Oscar feels like he did a good job. Jerry emptily tells him to keep on trucking.
During performance, Janelle is made of lead. Nick, her partner, doesn't really show that much either. That's a shame, because Mochi and Cody pull that shit out. They're sensational. Cody ends up winning immunity, though Mochi was a very close second and the judges were very impressed with her. She was terrific too.
The loser guys are horrible. They're not even in sync. In fact, the judges offer them the chance to perform again, at which point Michael tells the judges that everyone hates him and won't work with him and that's why everything is bad. It's really shocking. Nomi tells them to work their shit out and, offstage, Oscar says that Michael is crazy. They decide to perform again and it's really good. Oscar connects with Michael and really pulls him along. Well, maybe that wasn't such a great idea. Oscar got eliminated. I officially hate Michael. Ugh. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously: The dancers had to perform with Stomp. The style was totally counterintuitive to anything that Oscar had done and Tovah had problems as well. Miguel really hates Michael. Miguel was declared the winner (and he thinks his hair played a part) while the show is over for Tovah. Still sad about that, by the way.
Guess what time it is. You got it, it's morning, and we're at the dancers lofts. I've been writing that as possessive, but Bravo feels differently, per our friendly caption on the screen. I'm going to follow their lead. Heh. Nick says that he misses Tovah, and we see what appears to be some sort of tribal statue in a bed, with the covers pulled to its head. The Tovah Shrine. Weird. Nick says that the feminine touch is definitely missing from the apartment now. I forgot, this show is called Step It Up and Assign Gender. We see Cody holding a broken cereal bowl. He's so strong and masculine. Girls never break dishes. Unless you're Rihanna. That's the best song that has ever been written and they should be dancing to it every week on this show. For however may seasons of it they have. Write in.
Nick continues, saying that being in the dancers lofts with a bunch of guys takes him back to his days in a fraternity. Then, we see pics of Nick with his face painted and one where he and a buddy are clad only in loincloths with war paint on their faces. So, apparently fraternities are just like what we thought they were. Drunken naked boys wearing make-up. Oscar has apparently just moved to their loft-- they must be consolidating after Tovah's elimination. Nick asks him if he's nervous to live with them and he says "No" in three syllables.
Miguel is fixing his 'do in the bathroom and interviews that he's not going to play it safe for this challenge because he has immunity and cannot be eliminated. I kinda like that attitude, which is weird to say about Miguel. In the living room, Mochi, Miguel, Janelle, and Michael stand in a circle, hands together, while Mochi says, "Live life, love, passion, peace." Then they make like their hands are kissing each others' hands and they separate. They should all be eliminated for that. From the human race.
Jerry greets them at the theatre. He congratulates all of them for making it this far and reminds them that they've made it through four challenges. Then he tells them that the key to their next challenge is behind the closed door he is standing in front of. Nick interviews that he was waiting for a "Dun DUN DUN!" If he was watching with us, he would have heard a porno synth/air-being-released-from-a-tire sound. He opens the door and Jason Alexander is sitting at a bar behind it. A caption explains that Jason is the artistic director at Reprise!Everybody's all "George Costanza!" but you know they're really thinking, "What the hell does this guy have to do with dance? Are we going to do a Break The "Seinfeld Curse" Dance?" Or, maybe they're not thinking that hard. Janelle for instance says, "I wish I could've been on an episode of Seinfeld. Maybe that's what we'll win! You never know." Someone off-camera alerts her to the entire past decade that Seinfeld hasn't been on the air.She seems stunned. How fucking stupid is that? Friends? I could forgive you. It's still in the not-so-terribly distant past. According to Jim? I honestly don't know if it's on the air now or not. But, Seinfeld? She was like 9 when it went off the air? Her parents don't love her. That's all I'm saying.