Episode Report Card Keckler: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Wrath Of Retcon
By Keckler | Season 4 | Episode 6 | Aired on 11.11.2004
A bunch of Khannabees invade Dain'ta's lab to incarcerate him. "Dawsonella?" Dain'ta says in disbelief. Dawsonella looks down at the tops of her shoes. Dain'ta can't believe it's going to take four of them to subdue him. Mullet blusters that the crew is united behind him. If they're all so smart, why are they falling into a mob mentality? Dawsonella and Mullet tell him that there's no other way. Dain'ta and Dawsonella exchange a look. Mullet looks from one to the other and orders Dain'ta locked in his quarters. Dain'ta fixes Dawsonella with a disappointed look as he puts on his jacket. So, if they jail him, who will bring the embryos to term? Because I'm sorry, but I don't know nuthin' about birthin' no babies, Miss Mullet! Plus, they only have nineteen incubators for over eighteen hundred embryos and I think one of the incubators could be considered defective since it produced Khannabee Student.
Enterprise is going to be intercepted by a Klingon battle cruiser. At Quantum's inquiry, Trip says there's nothing wrong with their camouflage. Reed says the Klingons will be in visual range within two minutes. Hoshi confirms that the UT has been updated with seven Klingon dialects. "Let's hope this guy speaks one of them," Quantum says, and opens a channel. Is he going to tell him that they are taking "stuff" and "things" to Rura Penthe? Quantum bluffs a bit and says they are on important classified business from the High Council. "I'm not detecting a Council transponder signal. Perhaps you forgot to activate it," the Klingon snarks. "You expect me to turn on a transponder and let every ship know that we have the Chancellor on board?" Quantum lies. T'Pol raises her eyebrow when Quantum says that the Chancellor had business with the Orions and is now being brought back to Kronos. "The Orions! Ha ha ha ha ha!" the Klingon Jabba laughs. Everyone on the Bridge looks worried. The Klingon says he's heard rumors of the Chancellor's "negotiations" with the Orion females. Reed and May-Knowledge-of-Self exchange smirks. "If I were you, I wouldn't be making allegations about Chancellor M'Rek over an unsecure [sic] channel!" Quantum blusters. The Klingon says he meant no insult. "I'm sure you didn't," Quantum says with this great look back at his crew, like, "Hey, it worked!" It's the best acting I've seen from his stiff ass in years. I gotta stop watching Quantum Leap, it only depresses me. Quantum presses his luck, "It would be best if you didn't mention this to your superiors or you might find yourself commanding a garbage scow!" But will it be hauling rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong? The Klingon understands and says they are honored to have the Chancellor in their system. "Q'apla'!" the Klingon says. Now, why was that the only thing not translated? I can't, I just can't. "Kerpla!" Quantum says. "You suck, Quantum. Picard had ways of saying 'Q'apla' that would make you cry -- like when he said it to Worf. Quantum just sucks!" the Evil Dr. Mathra yells from the kitchen where he's whipping up his extra-special tacos for dinner. The Klingons alter their course.
Dawsonella visits Dain'ta in his cell. She just goes from one bed to the next, doesn't she? She's a Khannaho. Khannaho of the Sweaty Sex Sheets. "That's her Indian name," Gytha agrees. Dawsonella says if she hadn't gone along with Mullet, he would have killed her. Daint'a tells her that if Mullet proceeds with his plan, it will be confirming everything everyone has said about the ruthlessness of Augments. He wants Dawsonella to help him sabotage the torpedo bays. Dawsonella nixes this, saying Mullet posted guards everywhere. Dain'ta comes up with another plan: "You have to get me off this ship!" Dawsonella opens her mouth.