Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Tooth Hurts
By Miss Alli | Season 2 | Episode 3 | Aired on 09.22.2004
Anyway, Pi-yowza's guy thinks that yes, Pi-yowza will brush his teeth. They make the deal. "Pardon the pun," Jennifer says, "but it's a home run, getting Mike [Pi-yowza]!" And, really, that's not a pun, so much as it is a particularly cutesy metaphor. So shut up.
Here goes Mosaic, off to pursue sweepstakes insurance through a public relations firm P&G works with. When they get there, Andy tells the lovely woman at the agency that he wants to meet with her, the legal department, and Wes (whom Andy claims has "underwriting experience") about the possibility of buying insurance on a possible million-dollar giveaway. Kevin asks her whether it's possible to put it together in that time frame, and she says that she's sure parts of it can be. Surprisingly, Madeleine (that's her name) gets her very own interview, in which she repeats the information that Mosaic asked about her company being the guarantor on the insurance policy. I'm not sure why they bothered with the Madeleinterview if that was all we were going to get. Anyway, she tells Mosaic that what they need to do is check everything out through the vaguely imposing-sounding "Legal." When Madeleine has gone off to get in touch with Mr. Legal, Pamela tells the rest of Mosaic that her sense has been that whenever anybody goes off to check with Mr. Legal, it never goes well. Heh. Andy ultimately winds up on the speaker phone with Mr. Legal, and Mr. Legal tells Andy that he feels initially comfortable with Andy's plan. Andy tells the group that it's not a "hundred percent guarantee," but that things are looking up. Pamela, meanwhile, interviews that as far as the centerpiece of the promotion, the team decided to bank on this option, to the exclusion of any particular backup plan. Well, sure. One basket really ought to be enough, no matter how many eggs you have. ["And going with Andy's great idea worked out so well for them with Crustacean Nation. Shut up, Andy, and go mow my lawn." -- Wing Chun]
Stacie and Jennifer C. go out that evening in the van to retrieve the toothpaste they're going to take to the event. As Stacie explains in an interview, she was thinking that the 20,000 tubes of toothpaste they were being given to hand out at the promotion were the little tubes, but apparently not. When they get to the storage facility, they learn that there are 834 cases of toothpaste that they need to transport. In the elevator to the place where the toothpaste is being stored, Stacie asks how big the cases are, and the woman points out that they were given the dimensions. "Yeah, I didn't even look at the dimensions," Stacie says. And...good one. Because why would you consider the quantity of cargo when transporting that cargo is literally your one job? Indeed, when they arrive at Toothpaste Storage Warehouse, Stacie and Jennifer discover that this is not a quantity of toothpaste that anyone is going to be loading into the back of a van. What will be required is a truck, and likely some more people who can help load, because this is not a Stack-o-Paste. This is a Room-o-Paste. Jennifer immediately says she's only there to help, and that it's Stacie's problem to solve, at which point the storage lady reminds them that they have three minutes until the place closes. In an interview, Jennifer C. smirks that Stacie has become "dead weight," and that apparently, she didn't think getting the toothpaste to the event was particularly important. "It's not happening tonight," Jennifer C. smiles. And honestly, if she has time to be quite that smug, Jennifer C. apparently doesn't think it's very important either. But anyway, presumably, they got it moved in the morning, probably with the help of a rental truck or some such. It's a legitimately bad showing by Stacie. You don't hear "20,000 tubes of toothpaste" and just assume you can take that much in a van without even reviewing the dimensions. That is indeed not a great example of executive-level performance, and it's certainly not meeting the exacting, obsessive-compulsive standards of Boyfriend Bill.