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Episode Report Card Monty Ashley: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT One Contestant Goes Missing

By Monty Ashley | Season 4 | Episode 1 | Aired on 04.01.2008

All right. What's past is prologue. The Saga of Hell's Kitchen Continues, starting with Vanessa, 31, a Line Cook with a lip piercing who believes that Hell's Kitchen is her destiny. That sounds a little overblown, but maybe she can compare notes with whoever wrote the introductory speech about the Dark Lord. She is here to win.

Incidentally, there's a consulting producer on this show named "Seven".

Next up: Rosann, 33, a Receptionist/Former Cook, who has black hair and a pointy chin. I'm sorry to callously reduce her to her physical characteristics like that, but there are a lot of contestants and I want to make sure I can tell them apart. The first words out of her mouth are about being divorced.

All the contestants seem to have been on the same flight, because they're all filing onto one shuttle bus at the airport. And this is where the first Shocking Development takes place, because Gordon Ramsay Himself has been loaded up with makeup so that he can walk with the common people. He's now got long hair and lumpy chin, so he kind of reminds me of a cross between Criss Angel and Quentin Tarantino.

The smirky guy in the back of the bus is talking smack about how he's the only one who knows how to cook. He's also wearing his tall chef's hat even though there is no kitchen on the bus. I assume he thinks it intimidates his opposition. He's Craig, 30, a Sous Chef who racks up five bleeps in this interview alone. At this point, he's ahead of Ramsay, five bleeps to two.

Bobby, 37, is an Executive Chef who believes that none of the other chefs are in his class. He also believes that he is "the black Gordon Ramsay". Well, I think Gordon Ramsay owns eighteen restaurants, so unless you own at least three or four, I'd lay back on that comparison, Bobby.

When they arrive at Hell's Kitchen, it looks pretty much like it did last season, and they're all blown away. Jean-Phillippe (the Belgian MaƮtre d') welcomes them all happily. He's delighted to see them, and they're delighted to see him. He does some amusing imitations of Gordon, which is a setup to hear the chefs' imitations so that Gordon can reveal himself. Gasp! It was Gordon Ramsay all along! Pandemonium! Bobby and Rosann are shocked! So are some other people!

I like the introduction of Gordon Ramsay: Master of Disguise. Maybe every episode can start with him ripping off a crude rubber mask, like Hannibal toward the beginning of most episodes of The A*Team. Or like those episodes of The Tyra Banks Show where she pretends to be fat.

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