Episode Report Card Potes: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cirque du So Lame
By Potes | Season 13 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.07.2009
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.This week is all about movement, as perennial favorite Benny Ninja appears to teach the girls about expressing themselves through their bodies -- a skill also known as dance. Li'l Mama shows up to help and has sweaty armpits throughout the entire episode, which is rather endearing from those of us who layer on the Certain Dri to no avail. As if these special guests weren't enough, the Jabbawockeez also appear. In case you don't know who the Jabbawockeez are, they won some dance show that is not either of the famous dance shows that you probably have heard of, and basically look like a dance troupe straight out of your nightmares. [Should be noted that Jabbawockeez won the dance show that Li'l Mama judges, so I'm sure there was some sort of method to this madness. -- Angel] They sport white masks and Justin Timberlake hats. Terrifying. But boy do they know how to show emotion… through dance!
The girls learn that they will have to divide into teams and perform after a performance by the Jabbawockeez, and in said performance must express the emotions of happiness, sadness and anger. As we have heard all season, Ashley is a dancer. She happens to be weighed down with teammates Nicole and Erin, and her team ends up being the worst. She blames it all on them and says that she would have taken the prize had she been by herself, which is annoying but probably true. Feeling bad, Ashley calls her mom for some moral support. Kara, Jennifer and Rae win the challenge, and some very expensive jewelry. As it turns out, Kara is something of a shit talker. Which, join the club.
The girls get a video message from Mr. Jay, telling them to pack a bag and get on a plane because their shoot is going to be in Las Vegas. And what would a Vegas shoot be without a Cirque du Soleil theme? Bring on the giant tie-dye snails! The girls must shoot their photos in teams of three (along with some creepily masked Cirque extras), and in the end Brittany and Rae's awesomeness saves Jennifer's mediocre ass. They get the collective best photo of the week. Kara and Ashley are not so lucky, and they land in the bottom two. Kara's DNA saves her, and Ashley returns to the obscurity from which Tyra plucked her and is sent home.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: The annual Walmart couture challenge brought out the beast in Erin, whose competitive nature involves a fair amount of aggression. Ashley did not appreciate it and made Erin cry in the limo, which I thought was a disappointment since if you make the executive decision to be a bitch while running amok through a Walmart, you just have to own it. Tyra photographed the girls, and Bianca's inability to give soft face in her beauty shot finally got her sent home. Nine bitches remain!
The girls ride in their giant limo, and Laura says that panel wipes her out physically and emotionally. Ashley agrees, and tells us that the bottom two is a horrible place to be. She feels pretty stupid about Tyra calling her the most difficult girl to work with, especially since she was plucked fully formed from Tyra's talk show audience. We cut to the house, where Nicole is recapping her panel experience with the others. Apparently, though we did not see it, Nigel told Nicole that she talks like a stoner! Ha! The others then tell her that she actually does talk like a stoner! Stuff that in your bloody eyeball and smoke it. We flash to Nigel imparting this bit of criticism upon Nicole, and his stoner impression involves severely squinted eyes. I'm surprised he's not eating Fritos by the handful to underscore his point. Nicole confessionalizes that she can't change the inflection in her voice -- that's just the way she talks. Perhaps she's never heard of one Eliza Doolittle, who learned just in the nick of time that rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain. Nicole says she needs to figure it out. Probably the easiest method would be to stop taking her meds, but frankly I'm not sure that's such a good idea.
Meanwhile, Kara and Jennifer are curled up on the couch talking. Kara says, "So let's say Nicole or Erin end up winning. And then I'm always gonna be associated with them." She doesn't want to be known as the mannish-looking sheep castrator "from Nicole's season." Kara interviews that she's not a big fan of Nicole, and tries to avoid her as much as possible. She continues that Nicole is awkward and slow and makes a fool out of herself with every fifth word that comes out of her mouth. Jennifer says that Nicole might make it far but there's no way she's going to win, and Kara only replies that she doesn't want to hear Nicole talk any more than she has to. Frankly, I'd rather not see Kara's face any more than I have to, but we don't always have control over these things, do we?