Episode Report Card Sobell: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Aldo Burrows -- dead!
By Sobell | Season 2 | Episode 12 | Aired on 11.19.2006
Oh, we all know what happened. But Slattery's going to take the long way around to get there: "About seven years ago, I got my first homicide case. A woman. Pretty. She was brutally attacked and her boyfriend left her for dead. But she was still breathing -- barely. But she punched into her cell phone the killer's number, so she solved the crime for us. When we found the receipt, Brad, it was in Geary's hand, the finger pointing to your name. With his last ounce of strength, he told us you killed him." Bellick is scared into telling the truth: "Geary and I found Bagwell at Hollander's house. We roughed him up 'til he told us where he hid the $5 million we knew he dug up in Utah. When we found the money, Geary double-crossed me. He hit me in the head and took the cash! I had nothing to do with Geary's death! Do you know what I'm saying? I'm the victim here, not that son of a bitch!" Standing in for every viewer who has ever been unable to suspend disbelief over this show's plot developments, Slattery rolls her eyes so hard, she nearly pulls something.
Kellerman's walking out of a hospital, presumably having been treated for his steam-pressed chest. How disappointing that we didn't witness the scene in which he attempted to pass off his seared flesh as an ordinary household mishap. But the point to this scene is that Kim's putting the heat on him now, demanding that photo of Dr. Sara's dead body. Kellerman stalls, "Bill, there was a tactical error," but Agent Kim's not about to be deterred. "I don't want terminology from the cover-your-ass handbook! What happened?" he demands. Wait, wait, wait -- let's go back to the Cover Your Ass: A Handbook idea. Does such a marvelous tome exist? Does it address covering your ass on the domestic front ("Who left the salmon out on the counter overnight?") as well as the professional front? Does it include chapters on covering your ass at family get-togethers? Because I'm thinking that there's a market for Cover Your Ass: A Handbook. Anyway, Kellerman walks out of the hospital saying, "There were unforeseen circumstances, things that could not be predicted," and that suggests the first chapter in Cover Your Ass: A Handbook is titled "The Passive Voice and You." Kim forces Kellerman to admit that Dr. Sara's on the lam, then pushes his mobile phone closed in a gesture not unlike that of a guillotine chop. Kellerman hangs up the phone and reflects on how his bad day just keeps getting worse.
Speaking of the good doctor, she's camped out in a bathroom stall. Fortunately for her, the junk in her purse mated, then gave birth to a book of matches and a sewing kit. She's using the matches to sterilize the needle, and is trying to work up the nerve to stitch her cuts. You know what would go well with this procedure? Some dope. Just a pinch, really. Fortunately for Dr. Sara, there's none on hand, so she won't have to deal with a relapse on top of everything else she's going through. Also fortunate for Dr. Sara: that despite spending all that time underwater, her makeup stayed on. It would be a real tragedy if she had to endure sewing herself up while not wearing mascara.