Episode Report Card Joe R: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Bill Sussman
By Joe R | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 09.09.2007
U-Turn's. Nancy's there to pay two grand on her $12,500 bill, which U-Turn says is light enough to "get a nigga shot." Nancy says it's a good thing she's white, then, but already the gods of the ironic segue have conspired to have Marvin get dragged through the doorway, having been shot in his ample behind. U-Turn divines that it was Mexicans who were responsible and tells Marvin he can't be bleeding all over his nice upholstery. But Marvin still needs to get to the hospital, and despite Nancy's emphatic "No" to the idea of driving a gunshot victim to the hospital, next thing we know they're all three in the car, Nancy biting her nails nervously. They drive past a couple Mexicans who flash gang signs, and in between asking those ironically innocuous, consumer-based questions that make U-Turn such a delight when he's not saying "Bitch I'ma fucking kill you," he divines that these "Tres Seis" gang members are the ones who shot Marvin. He tells Nancy to make a few right hand turns, and after Sullivan calls and gets an earful of "Who the fuck is you?" he tells Nancy to pull up alongside those same Mexicans they passed earlier and he pulls out his gun and starts shooting at them. Nancy doesn't quite catch on to the "drive" part of "drive-by," so of course it takes a "Drive, bitch!" to get her moving. U-Turn laughs maniacally as they speed away, and even bleeding ol' Marvin gets to shoot those cholos the finger.
Back at Sullivan's office, he's trying to flatter Celia into handing over her vote in exactly the same manner he used on Doug. Celia's got more sense than a trained chimp, however, and says she knows Doug got a golf club membership. "I love a woman who does her homework," Sullivan says through a forced smile because he means "I hate a woman who does her homework." Celia says she wants a house. Preferably one without an atrium, one would guess.
A still-jangly Nancy speeds up to Shane's school to pick him up, blood stains still fresh in the back seat. An unreasonably chipper woman hands Nancy a packet with all the relevant paperwork Shane needs for this here "Absolute Truth Ministries" school. Man, I went to Catholic school for my entire educational career and I still cannot tell you how pants-wettingly afraid I would be if I was made to attend something called "Absolute Truth Ministries." Chipper Jesus Freak then clumsily asks if Nancy's "a Jewish" like she heard. Nancy, kind of at a loss, explains that Shane's dad was a Jewish. "Did he pass?" Chipper asks. "Most people thought he was Italian," Nancy confirms (HA!) before realizing that Chipper means "did he pass on," and she confirms that yes, Judah's dead. Chipper offers a "God bless you" just as Shane finds a shell casing on the floor and Nancy has to speed away for the second time today.