Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Looking Up At The Admiral
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.17.2007
41,398 souls in the Fleet, but 90% of the loss was Sagittaron, so who gives a fuck? Am I right? Adama walks on river stones, back on Old Caprica, looking at his son's toys and thinking about his children. The ones he forgot and the ones he failed, and the ones he can't stop saving. "Leeson takes first watch. Leeson takes first watch. Kinsey checks the roster. Kinsey checks the roster. Jaffee brings me coffee. Jaffee brings me coffee." Carolanne's amused that he's still doing his memory exercises; still jealous of the war. "Do you really think they expect you to know all of their names?" More embarrassing exposition and then: "Now hurry, you're going to be late meeting Laura."
As he walks down the corridor, Carolanne wonders aloud if she, Laura, possibly has a "thing for bad boys": "She wouldn't be the first." I don't know what that has to do with anything, unless he's being "bad" in some way I cannot identify, or there's about to be a return to the whole Laura/Zarek/Bill/Saul thing that always seems poised to take over when New Caprica comes up, which would be hot in certain ways, I guess, if a little too Primal Scene for yours truly. Adama shushes Carolanne, back in the old house for a moment: "She's the President of the Twelve Colonies." Carolanne -- and I don't want to be too hard on the acting, honestly, because she does freak-out really well, but mostly, this dialogue is screaming-meemie bad -- "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, of course. Since you've created one godlike facade for yourself, why not invent another one for her?" I don't know, Adama's nuts. I can imagine that he actually thinks in these bombastic, over-explanatory Star Trek sentences, but it's really jarring to hear this stuff on this show. "It's another excuse to keep your distance," Carolanne helpfully voices over further, just so we're all on the same page. That page being huge and made of posterboard, with CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT written on it in bright highlighter letters, with glitter and gems pasted all over it, and a picture of a unicorn being ridden by a very frowny William Adama, and a hot dog flying into a giant crack in the side of a mountain, and a stick figure of everybody's mommy hitting them. Everybody in the whole world.
Roslin welcomes the Admiral to her temporary office, I hope but can't prove it's the same one she got giggly in before the debates that time, and she nearly blushes at him. "I'm sorry, I'm sure this all could have been done over the wireless, but very frankly, I was going a little stir-crazy on Colonial One, and had to get out." He nods, mentioning that "deepspace pilots call it OBE," which he explains -- in a way that calls to mind the sexiest, most debonair corpse ever to go walking -- means "Overcome By Events." Come on, you know this is his version of flirting. She laughs wildly, as though he has not only made a funny joke, but a joke that was very, very funny, which is her version of flirting. Which has the bonus effects of being A) flirting and B) totally hot, because she's totally hot when she laughs. "And you're always welcome here, you know that," he finishes up earnestly, and it's taken in the spirit that it's given, but she laughs again. "Well, you may not feel that way after you finish this. Tory actually drew up an agenda." They dance around with alluvial deposits on their shoes and talk about Gaius some more. "Can't we just give him back to the Cylons?" asks Bill, and Laura smiles. "Oh, you know how much I love that idea. Unfortunately, given what little I was able to glean from the Caprica Six, I don't think the Cylons would take him back." So they'll have to try him: but apparently the Colonies didn't have any federal systems set up, which goes a long way explaining both the Sagittarons and my beloved Geminons. "Under what law? Caprican? Picon? Tauron? Do we give him a jury trial, do we set up a tribunal?" There's like only one lawyer in the Fleet, whom we'll be meeting soon and who I've always found to be about the sexiest human being to wear a bowler hat. They don't even have a comprehensive law library. Athena's the goddess of law, but that's Roslin, and she's throwing up her hands. If only there were another god associated with the law, just hanging around and not doing anything at all.