Episode Report Card Al Lowe: A | 2 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Bunch Of Turkeys
By Al Lowe | Season 6 | Episode 10 | Aired on 11.21.2005
The band, minus Gil, is at Sophie's store, shopping around. Lane asks Sophie, played by the unbelievable Carole King, for advice on the showcase. "Don't wear a clown suit," she says. Meanwhile, pfTL looks longingly at a very beautiful guitar on a stand in the store. Sophie tells him not to touch it. "Maybe I'll splurge and get it," he says. "Do you take MasterCard?" Sophie: "Why, you got one?" HA! Fancy acoustic guitar: Maybe a thousand dollars. Getting your head snapped off by the legendary Carole King: Priceless. pfTL sees some wireless mics, and says that the whole band should get some. "Isn't that too Gwen Stefani?" Brian asks. pfTL: "Not if we wear 'em. Then it will be totally Peter Gabriel." Cute. Brian turns and plays a few bars on one of the electric pianos. pfTL says it sounds nice, and asks what it is. Brian shyly says it's just something he's been working on since their conversation about songs and names the other day. "It's called 'Lane,'" he says. Lane's touched, and smiles a mile wide, thanking him. pfTL...not so much. His eyes go cold. "Inspired, huh?" he says, looking like he's about to whip ass. Sophie compliments it, as well, in her way: "Doesn't make me want to be violently ill." Lane says that's high praise, and turns to pfTL saying maybe they can learn it next week. He cuts her off, saying they came to get picks, and stomps away.
Christopher is waiting for Lorelai in some café. Whatever. I straight-up loathe Christopher. Lorelai seems happy enough to see him. She hugs him and he compliments her on always looking good. He asks, "How's our Rory?," which I figure shows some nerve, considering he seems to have little to no interest in Rory, and Lorelai casually mentions that Rory left Yale for a semester. "And...the apocalypse is this week? Next week?" Christopher jokes. Lorelai relieves his mind, saying that Rory's going back and will be fine. Finally unable to stand the suspense any longer, Lorelai asks Christopher why he wanted to see her. "Well," he jokes, "wouldn't you like to know?" She rolls her eyes, clearly nervous. "This is the funnest thing I've gotten to do in years," Christopher says. "Let me savor it." Lorelai tells him to come on, and finally he says that his grandfather died. "And," Lorelai asks, "that's fun how?" Christopher explains that the old guy was megarich and left it all to Christopher. "Good, Chris," Lorelai says, pleased for him. "That's good." He goes on a totally manic binge, saying he's set Gigi up with funds for everything she'll ever need, ever, and now he wants to shower Lorelai and Rory with cash and possessions. Lorelai looks less than excited, even when Christopher offers to give her enough money to crush people. He is practically begging her to let him give her something -- anything, including a castle in Ireland -- but she says she is fine. "You're too unmaterialistic," he says to the woman who wears $500 dresses in every episode. She tells him that if it will make him feel better, she'll talk to Rory and see if there's anything she'd like her father to do for her. Christopher reminds her not to leave out the stuff about a castle: "Doesn't have to be in Ireland. It can be in Germany, Czech Republic, Scotland...Narnia." Lorelai says she'll be sure to mention it. I wish Christopher would buy himself a castle in Narnia, because that's about the level of reality he seems to have been living on for the last twenty-one years. What a weird plot device, anyway. Luke has a Secret Kid and Rory's loserish dad has Sudden Millions? What's next? Sookie and Michel find out they were separated at birth and are actually the fraternal twin children of Anastasia Romanov? I don't like it. ["Especially since the whole inheritance business is just a pretext for Christopher to fuck it up somehow at some point in the near-ish future." -- Wing Chun]