Episode Report Card Pamie: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Making Up And Making Love
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 16 | Aired on 02.28.2005
Emily's kitchen. Much to our surprise, Emily does her own flower arrangements. Maybe Lorelai should slip her mother a twenty-dollar bill as well. There are so many flowers on the counter. Also, when do you get rich enough to have all that fresh fruit lying around your house as decoration? When I go to the store, all the oranges have brown spots, or the apples are a little mushy. When I have six lemons, they're six different sizes and don't look cute in a bundle. Is that a talent, or a rich thing? ["Rich thing. Every piece of fruit at Whole Foods is gorgeously perfect, and they each cost $17." -- Wing Chun] Richard thinks Emily shouldn't be as furious as she is. Emily knows that Richard is loving this weird time in their lives, when Rory won't look at her and Lorelai hates her, but both girls are all, "Grampa! Grampa! Rah-rah-rah!" Emily: "You're the favorite and you're loving every single minute of it." Richard says this isn't a popularity contest, but we can see that he's pretty amused by the attention. He calls Emily immature. Emily says she doesn't understand why he won't stand by her on this Luke issue. Richard screams, "Why haven't we gotten stools in here?" It's hilarious, and such an actor-y frustration, to have to stand there, upstaged by a kitchen island full of cut flowers, trying to have a huge scene when you can't move from your mark. Emily says she had to act on what was happening with Lorelai, that she had to step in and do something about Luke. Richard agrees that she acted, but that it backfired: "It was a noble effort, but if failed." He says they have to deal with Lorelai's feelings right now, "no matter how misguided." That's the great thing about Richard's character: you think he's a great guy, but he's really got a dark side you don't want to ever meet. This is just like when he connived to make Luke start a restaurant chain. Richard says that Lorelai will deal with him, so at least one of them has contact with her. With time, they might get her back to coming to dinner and this can all blow over. But if they let her cut them off, she'll never come back: "Don't you agree?" Emily lowers her head. Richard kisses her forehead and tells her not to worry: "I have everything under control." "Of course you do," Emily says once Richard has left the room. She snots, "'Cuz you're the favorite."
Rory's job. Lane is on the ground, practically weeping into her arm: "I can't believe it! I just can't believe it!" Rory's still taking inventory while trying to soothe her friend. "It's okay," she says. Lane recounts all the ways she's rebelled against her mother's morals and ideals over the years, from makeup and spicy condiments to living with boys. But this? No sex before marriage? "Why couldn't the gluten-free thing stick? I could have lived with that." Lane says that Rory should have seen mfTL's face. Rory can imagine it's just like the face he'd make when he found out he wasn't going to have sex with Lane until their wedding night. Lane says that's exactly what his face looked like. Rory says a lot of people wait until their wedding night to have sex. Lane doesn't want to be Jessica Simpson or Donna from 90210. ["Which, bad fact-checking; Donna did eventually give it up before she got married." -- Wing Chun] ["Does a massive number of blowjobs count? Because then I suppose Jessica's out, too." -- Pamie] Lane wonders what'll happen if she never gets married and therefore never has sex. Rory assures her that she'll have sex one day. Lane says that's easy for Rory to say: "You've already had sex with two different guys all within a one-year period." Rory: "Okay, you're making me sound a little slutty." Lane says that Rory might as well be slutty, since she has no moral-preaching mother standing in the way of her skankiness. Rory: "Oh, well. When you put it that way." Lorelai did sleep with Digger and Luke in a one-month period, I think, so Rory is learning it from somewhere. Lane asks if sex is great. Rory scolds, "Not in front of the books, Lane." Lane says she knows it's great, and that she'll never experience it because nobody will ever marry her if he has to wait until they get married to have sex. Rory is unfazed, thinking about how great her sex life is, as Lane leaves to get trash bags for the diner. I bet Rory doesn't like sex all that much. I'm just sayin'.