Episode Report Card Kim: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Say Goodbye
By Kim | Season 9 | Episode 17 | Aired on 11.10.2009
Samantha is backstage with the three couples who still don't know if they are staying or going. How much Botox does Donny have in his forehead, by the way? It is immobile. He looks like Marcia Cross. Donny says that if he goes home now, he'll have learned how much a body can ache. Kelly says that she's learned that you can do anything you want. Aaron has learned a lot of life lessons, which doesn't really answer the question.
The three couples come back out on stage to learn one more couple that is safe. And that couple is... Donny and Kym. If Donny's face could move, you'd probably be able to tell that he's happy. So either Aaron and Karina or Kelly and Louis are going home. But we're not going to find that out quite yet.
About six months too late, Susan Boyle is here to perform her big song. I kind of missed the whole Susan Boyle thing somehow. Like I read about it, but I was never interested enough to watch the YouTube video or anything, and I find it kind of insulting that people were like, "Wow, she's old and ugly and yet she can still sing!" Because only attractive people have good voices? It just always rubbed me the wrong way somehow. Tony and Chelsie are on hand to dance as Susan sings and you're going to be shocked, but Chelsie isn't wearing shoes. I know. Anyway, Susan Boyle has a beautiful voice but it's not my bag. It's like music that your aunt would want to see in concert at Christmas time or something. She doesn't even really have a Broadway voice (even though she's singing a Broadway song). Didn't Sharon Osbourne just insult Susan Boyle in the papers too? I wonder if Kelly steered clear backstage.
Finally, some relief from the schmaltz with the second half of DanceCenter. They make fun of Kelly's swearing, and then joke that Dmitry is one of the celebrities because Mya must be the pro. I kind of think that DanceCenter has been defanged a bit over the years though. I feel like it was meaner back in the day, and I liked it. And then they play electric football like my brother and I used to play back in the '70s. Remember how it took like thirty minutes to set up all the little guys and then you'd turn on the giant vibrating piece of metal and... nothing would really happen? My brother had this whole complex set of rules on top of the actual set of rules to determine who won. And no surprise, he always won. Come to think of it, as my older brother, he usually won every game we played. Like we used to play Monopoly, and I didn't understand money or adding yet, so he would just tell me, "Give me one yellow one and one pink one" or whatever. And I always lost! He is such a cheater. I'm going to call him right now and give him a piece of my mind.