Shows

24	Active
7th Heaven	Active
The Agency	Permanent Hiatus	You know, it sounded like a good idea at the time...CIA. Espionage. Everyday lives of operatives. Knowledge of covert operations happening every second of every day that not a single human in America is aware of. Too bad Wolfgang Petersen and the powers that be at CBS managed to create a show that holds no interest for ANYONE ALIVE. I mean, for God's sake! It's up against ER! What in the HELL were they thinking? Apparently, they weren't thinking much; this show is over. Over. Done. Kaput. Without continuance. Or without further recapping, anyway. CBS picked it up for the whole season, for some reason, but we're done.
Alias	Active
Ally McBeal	Permanent Hiatus	It was an unfunny "comedy" about a "feminist icon" who wasn't. Ally McBeal had more tics and quirks than the Tourette's Ward at a loony bin, and it really started to suck as the years went on. Season Five resulted in cancellation. No one was surprised. Dancing baby, wattles, bygones, et cetera. The shark, she is jumped.
The Amazing Race	Active
American High	Permanent Hiatus	School's out FOREVER. Puck Lite, CrAbby, Saran Wrap, and all the rest of the wee scoundrels have moved on to greener pastures: learning how to charge pitchers of beer on their parents' credit cards, discovering the perfect combination of incense and Glade air freshener that will completely disguise the omnipresent smell of pot, and sleeping with unsuspecting under-age females and videotaping it. Oh, wait, that last one is only attributable to Puck Lite. Relive the days and nights of the Highland Park High collective -- but make sure you have lots of alcohol on hand to dull the pain...
American Idol	Active
Angel	Active
The Anna Nicole Show	Active
Band of Brothers	Permanent Hiatus	They were brave men. They were complex men. And, thanks to Spanks's crack casting agents, they were also hot men. (Well, except David Schwimmer.) The Tom Hanks/Steven Spielberg-produced HBO mini-series only spanned ten episodes, but the eye candy will feed us forever: Damian Lewis, Ron Livingston, the third extra from the back in that one scene in the middle...they're all pretty. And pretty brave. Relive the World War II heroics, offensives, and friendships ripped from the Stephen Ambrose biography; then, bask in the added glow of suppressed man-love and unbridled fan lust that only an TWoP recap can provide.
Bands on the Run	Permanent Hiatus	It may have been the perfect reality show -- the best rock-and-roll behind-the-scenes docu-drama since Spinal Tap, and some of the worst music since Warrant's power ballad "Heaven." We're talking about VH1's Bands on the Run, which for one perfect season made Mr. Stupidhead and Alex Richmond very, very happy recappers. We knew it couldn't last.
Big Brother	Active
Boot Camp	Permanent Hiatus	The reality-show boom may have produced some interesting shows, but not all of them could survive (pun intended). We had one glorious season (or maybe that should read "one sort-of- interesting-if- there-was- nothing-else- on-to-watch season"), and got a true reality hero in the balloon-sculpting Yaney, but it turns out that Americans didn't want to read recaps of a show that was only marginally interesting in the first place. Cue "Taps" and give this one a military burial.
Boston Public	Active
Buffy the Vampire Slayer	Active
C.S.I.	Active
Chains of Love	Permanent Hiatus	There was once a little man at the UPN who looked at the big networks getting good ratings with Survivor, Temptation Island, and other reality shows and said, "We can do that!" Well, they couldn't. Six terrible episodes later, all this little man had was six hours of bad television in which four single people were chained to a single of the opposite sex for three days, an ulcer, and his resume on monster.com.
Charmed	Active
City of Angels	Permanent Hiatus	Proof that everything Stephen Bochco touches doesn't, in fact, turn to gold. For every L.A. Law, there's a Cop Rock. And for every NYPD Blue, there's a City of Angels. Sure, CBS renewed it. But TWoP didn't.
D.C.	Permanent Hiatus	Proof positive that not everything Dick Wolf touches turns to gold, D.C. joins Hyperion Bay on the "debit" side of Mark-Paul Gosselaar's career ledger. keckler sat through all four episodes, but the WB had better things to stick in that time slot.
Dark Angel	Permanent Hiatus	First, there was the first season with Lydecker and Manticore. Then, there was the second season with the Logan virus and the MmmmAlec. And now there will be no more seasons, due to cancellation by FOX.
Dawson's Creek	Active
Dead Last	Permanent Hiatus	Ah, Dead Last. What looked like a live action Scooby-Doo (rock bands travels around with supernatural touches and lots of ghosts) became a bastardized A-Team, even an ersatz Mod Squad at times. Dated, weak, not meaningful, and with a largely unattractive cast (Jane is never lit well, and what's with Vaughn's hair "styles"?), the show only had moments. If you like your humor blacker than black, and Jack Black, you'll love Scotty the drummer. Everyone did. For about six weeks.
Deadline	Permanent Hiatus	Is it a cop show or a journalism show? Whichever it was, Deadline became the first Fall 2000 drama to meet its maker. Even fine thespians Lili Taylor, Tom Conti, Hope Davis, and Bebe Neuwirth couldn't perform the alchemy required to turn this steaming dung-pile into gold. And the less said about Oliver Platt, the better.
Ed	Active
Enterprise	Active
ER	Active
Felicity	Hiatus
First Years	Permanent Hiatus	Faster than you can say "affidavit," NBC bowed to pathetic ratings -- and let's face it, who wouldn't want to watch reruns rather than this twaddle? -- after three measly airings. They even sacrificed upcoming episodes featuring Robert Urich and Pat "Mr. Miyagi" Morita! Bummer.
Freaks & Geeks	Permanent Hiatus	Set in high school suburbia in 1981, this show was a critical success before it ever aired -- and deservedly so. But NBC's whimsical scheduling made sure that it never stood a chance.
Freakylinks	Permanent Hiatus	Before the pilot even aired, there was revamping. That's always a bad sign. The creators disavowed it. It got pulled for sweeps. This is the story of a show that really just wasn't very good. Hey, it happens.
The Fugitive	Permanent Hiatus	What's the magic formula for TV success? First you take a hit vintage TV series. Then, thirty years later, make a blockbusting movie from it. Finally, sponge off that concept, don't update it at all, and add one washed-up sitcom star. Wait, that's the recipe for TV failure! Keep running, Dr. Kimble; we don't feel like catching you anymore.
Get Real	Permanent Hiatus	For one brief, shining moment, the miraculous Green Centres of the Universe made our world a better place to live, and all of us, better people. Except Pamie, who increased her consumption of Coronas and cigarettes just to get through it.
Gideon's Crossing	Permanent Hiatus	Sometimes quality actors get together with quality writers and quality directors and make a quality show. And yet, it still lacks that certain something. Watching it is like taking medicine -- you know it's good for you, but sometimes you can't bring yourself to choke it down. This hospital drama lingered on for awhile, but TWoP decided it was time for euthanasia.
Gilmore Girls	Active
Glory Days	Permanent Hiatus	Kevin Williamson described his bizarro Dawson's Creek/Scream franchise hybrid show as "sort of like a funny Northern Exposure." Except with killer clowns instead of moose. And, instead of snow, there were people getting bludgeoned, drowned, exsanguinated, stabbed, shot, harpooned, and flattened by pianos. You figure it out.
Grosse Pointe	Permanent Hiatus	The show within a show within a show within an enigma finally wound up in the rubbish bin, thanks to the idiots-that-be at the WB; you know, those guys who lose Buffy but manage to HANG ONTO NIKKI! Methinks that all those little not-so-subtle pokes at the WB hit home much harder than anyone thought they would. Or maybe a witty, smart, hilarious show about the behind-the-scenes hoots and hijinks of teen drama stars just didn't appeal to the WB suits. Yeah, that's it.
Jack & Jill	Permanent Hiatus	The non-madcap non-adventures of singles in the city left us non-tingling. But Jack (that's the girl -- geddit?) and Jill (that's the boy -- geddit? GEDDIT?) live on right here, non-chemistry and all.
Judging Amy	Permanent Hiatus	Will Amy ever realize she�s not the center of the cosmos? Will Maxine ever just crack and bitch-slap her daughter? Will Vincent ever break through the fourth wall and whisk Jessica off to the Cayman Islands for some red hot loving? Maybe. But you won't read about it on Television Without Pity.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit	Permanent Hiatus	It was just like Law & Order, except that no one cared.
The Lone Gunmen	Permanent Hiatus	Chris Carter must have smoked too much crack. He turned some great characters -- three ultimate journalistic outsider hackers -- into pratfalling ninnies who mention themselves in their own columns. They were quirky on the X-Files, yet bumbling and inept in their own spinoff show. It was a midseason replacement that never got a lead-in from Cops, sucked in the ratings, and got canceled for a reason. The Lone Gunmen never got a chance. Alex Richmond gave it her best shot, but it wasn't enough. Gurgle, sputter, croak.
Looking for Love	Active
Lost	Permanent Hiatus	Lost was a fourth-rate reality game show that was supposed to air for six weeks, but only lasted for three. Amazingly, those three hours of television were some of the worst hours in Alex Richmond's life. And that doesn't even count monitoring the boards!
Love Cruise	Permanent Hiatus	The concept was oh-so-right, but the timing was oh-so-wrong. FOX filmed this "Survivor on a ship" reality show and then held it for ages and ages. And it finally started airing at a time when viewers were denouncing both reality shows in general, and tawdry pasttimes in particular. This show had plenty of tawdry reality, from Toni's bug eyes to Anthony's smarm, but in the end the multiple episodes per week and general viewer malaise contributed to the show's being put on Permanent Hiatus after only one season. Oh -- and the fact that the producers totally changed the rules around during the finale didn't help.
Making the Band	Active
Mind of the Married Man	Permanent Hiatus	We here at TWoP pride ourselves on our ability to watch bad TV so you don't have to. But sometimes, a show can be so incredibly awful that even trained professionals such as ourselves are forced to flee in terror. The Mind of the Married Man is one such show. Warning: No matter how brave you may be, attempts to read these recaps will never, ever have a happy ending.
The Mole	Active
Mondo Extras	Active
My So-Called Life	Permanent Hiatus	The show that paved the way for teen verite enjoyed a brief revival here at TWoP, but now, sadly, has gone once again into that good night. Return with us to the thrilling days of the mid-nineties and thrill to the many loves of Angela Chase all over again.
Now and Again	Permanent Hiatus	Okay, this one was our bad. Alex Richmond wrote the hell out of her recaps, but the Television Without Pity readership just couldn't bring itself to care. Before the show had broadcast its season finale, Now and Again was yanked from the site.
NYPD Blue	Permanent Hiatus	The show's got grit, as every television journalist in America has said ad nauseam. But maybe we came along too late -- in season seven -- for the recaps to light a fire under anyone's (naked) ass. Or, maybe the show just really started sucking hard -- during season eight, when David Milch left, and Stephen Bochco came in to open his Pandora's Box of Gritty Clich�s -- and people stopped caring. People including, but not limited to, Alex Richmond.
Once and Again	Permanent Hiatus	Lily, Rick, and their respective broods have weathered a lot of storms: divorce, remarriage, blending families, professional disgrace, sibling rivalry, unplanned pregnancies, unrequited crushes, an eating disorder, a drug habit, sexual uncertainty, and a nearly fatal car accident, to name but a few. Sadly, they could not survive dismal ratings and a mysteriously shifting time slot. After three seasons of navel-gazing, heart-wrenching goodness, we bid the Mannings, Sammlers, and their extended clans a fond farewell.
The Osbournes	Active
The Others	Permanent Hiatus	We thought TWoP users would dig a show about the supernatural and freaky. We thought wrong. (Either that, or y'all get your fill of "supernatural and freaky" at the hands of the Buffy wardrobe department.) But you can still read up on the first eight episodes right here. Spookay!
Oz	Active
Party of Five	Permanent Hiatus	Everybody wanted to be closer to free. And now...they are. Well, they're closer to being free of the FOX network, anyway. Kim recapped the last days of Party of Five, straight on to the series finale. Hasta la vista, Bailey.
Pasadena	Permanent Hiatus	What happens when you mix a trashy Aaron Spelling soap opera with a Todd Solondz movie? In Pasadena's case, FOX sticks it on Friday nights when the show's desired audience is elsewhere, yanks it after four episodes, and says it will return. But it didn't. Did Catherine kill her high-school friend? Did Henry find his mother? Did Nate become a gay porn star? We'll never get to see.
Popstars	Permanent Hiatus	The first year, when they were Eden's Crush? Five of you cared. By the second season, the world had closed their eyes in shame. Pamie was forced to watch all footage while strapped in that machine from A Clockwork Orange.
Popular	Permanent Hiatus	Popular was a Trojan horse for Television Without Pity, so to speak. We added the show thinking that this feeble-looking high-school drama about Sam -- a brainy brown-haired teenage girl --becoming the stepsister of Brooke -- the blonde homecoming queen and Sam's symbolic nemesis -- would provide a plethora of snark material. We were right -- there was a lot to complain about -- but there were also unexpected moments of camp brilliance that forced us to respect it. The characters of Mary Cherry (a prophecy of Lizzie Grubman in the guise of a ruthlessly ambitious Texan oil-money cheerleader) and Nicole Julian (the second most popular girl in school who tried harder...much harder) made this the gayest hour on television. Unfortunately, network interference made the series virtually unwatchable through its second season and, despite some brilliant moments toward the very end, it was cancelled after a confusing cliffhanger ending.
The Practice	Active
Queer as Folk U.K.	Permanent Hiatus	We laughed, we cried, we suffered through copious Doctor Who references. But the saga of Stuart and Vince -- and all the hangers-on -- only lasted for ten precious episodes. As a consolation gift, we give you Della Femina's recaps, so you can relive all the drama, all the comedy, and all the fashion faux pas.
Queer as Folk U.S.	Active
The Real World	Active
Road Rules	Active
Roswell	Permanent Hiatus	No one could have expected that this WB-cum-UPN show about approximately four-to-seven-or-so aliens living undercover in New Mexico would capture the hearts and minds of America for three stunning years of blazing success. And then it didn't. So everyone was right. Relive three years of Max's rapid aging, Michael's rapid waist-expansion, and Liz's voice-over profundities right here.
The Real World / Road Rules Challenge	Permanent Hiatus	Bunim-Murray finally found a way to milk the "Challenge" concept completely dry, and TWoP audiences tuned out in record numbers. How many times can reality-show hasbeens return for fifteen more minutes of fame? TWoP won't be around to find out.
Sex and the City	Active
Six Feet Under	Active
Smallville	Active
The Sopranos	Active
Sports Night	Permanent Hiatus	ABC never seemed to know what to do with this half hour, by turns hilarious and heartbreaking. Was it a comedy? A drama? Certainly the network could be blamed for a couple of bad decisions, like imposing a jarring laugh track early on and never giving the show a regular timeslot. After two seasons, ABC cut the show loose, but it'll live on in our hearts forever.
The Street	Permanent Hiatus	There was a time when Darren Star could do no wrong. He was riding high with Sex in the City and had a critically-acclaimed freshman sitcom, Grosse Pointe...and then disaster struck: he somehow convinced Fox to give him $2.3 million per episode for a new hour-long set in a young, hip New York City investment bank. Problem? Well, he was so busy finding ways to make the show lurid and pretty, he didn't notice that his casting people had quietly assembled the most unlikable and unbankable ensemble since Down Periscope. In fact, seven episodes was a shockingly long run, considering.
Survivor	Active
Temptation Island	Permanent Hiatus	Who would think whoring would ever go out of style? Well, when saddled with the sad, hangdog face of host Mark L. Walberg and a post-9/11 America desirous of purity and goodness, it can. Fox hit gold with the first Temptation Island, a show about trying to break couples up -- mainly due to the slutty ways of the aggressively hungry-for-fame and unfortunately-coifed Mandy. The second season, however, failed to catch on, and Fox pushed it permanently out to sea. Good news: Mark L. Walberg is back, with a show on The Game Show Network. "Where's the good news?" you ask. That means we never have to watch him again.
Third Watch	Permanent Hiatus	Was it a show about paramedics? Firefighters? Cops? The intricacies of the relationships between these working groups? Yes and no. This show, from ER's John Wells, went from a New York-based action show to a character-driven drama riddled with implausibilities. And you know what? Only one of the characters was even that interesting. While the show had a creative infusion early in the second season, its boredom level rose soon after, dooming it, on Television Without Pity, to a life of Permanent Hiatus. You can still read Nicole's and Omar's recaps, though.
Time of Your Life	Permanent Hiatus	Bailey's ex-girlfriend had the shortest Time of Her Life in all of fourteen episodes. Be glad you weren't there to see Keckler's liver swell with each new show as Sarah twitched, squealed, stripped and sang. Aren't those the signs of the Apocalypse? Smell ya in the unemployment line, Hepwitt!
Titans	Permanent Hiatus	Remember the Titans? Probably, few of you do. Actually, very few of you knew about the show in the first place, which is why it got canceled. Well, what kept you all away? The bad acting? The recycled storylines? The horrendous dialogue? Or was it the total absence of even one likable and morally redeemable character? Titans: Incest never looked so glamorous.
Tough Enough	Permanent Hiatus	Once again, we learned that TWoP's demographics and those of the WWF don't really have much overlap (a lesson we should have learned from our brief foray into recapping WWF Smackdown!). The recaps were tough, but the readership wasn't quite enough.
Trading Spaces	Active
Twin Peaks	Permanent Hiatus	Back when network television still gave an absolute lunatic a chance to make a difference, David Lynch created a television show intended to revolutionize the one-hour drama. And it did, because after this show got canceled, no network exec ever wanted to see one again. Kyle McLachlan and Lara Flynn Boyle made it out with only a few scars, but the rest of the cast got lost in an obscurity that can only be relived here.
Undeclared	Permanent Hiatus	Some producers have all the luck (Dick Wolf, he of the myriad Law & Order spin-offs), and others, sadly, have none. Judd Apatow, unfortunately, falls in the latter category. He first watched the great Freaks and Geeks die a premature death, only to create another critically lauded show that did the same. But Undeclared and its endearing cast of collegiate wackos will live on at TWoP. So when you miss Steven, Shaggy, Heath, Lizzie, Rachel, and Larice, or when you just want a good, hard Ronning, this is where you should be.
Wasteland	Permanent Hiatus	Jesse, Russell, Vandy, Dawnie and Sam slurred Southern syllables and captured a nation's interest and heart for three glorious weeks in 1999. Or something.
The West Wing	Active
Wolf Lake	Permanent Hiatus	Lou Diamond Phillips's waxed pecs worked very hard, Scott Bairstow and Max Wasilewski were very sexy, and young people thoughtfully got naked, but it turns out nothing can save a show that is, was, and always will be Very, Very Bad. One of its top dogs (one of many who came and went) called it "The Sopranos, but with wolves." He will never, ever live that down. Relive the five glorious episodes of Wolf Lake, complete with lupine politics, nature footage, glowing eyes, and awful dialogue; you�ll understand why CBS and TWoP cancelled the shit out of it.
Wonderland	Permanent Hiatus	Savaged in the ratings by ER, railed against by mental-health advocates, Peter Berg's psychiatric-hospital melodrama got the heave after only two episodes. You blinked, you missed 'em -- but we've got 'em right here.
WWF Smackdown	Permanent Hiatus	Like a victim of a Stone Cold Stunner, like a recipient of a Pedigree, like a prone body being given The People's Elbow, WWF Smackdown! is no more. The WWF lives on, probably forever, but the recaps come to an end.
The X-Files	Hiatus
Young Americans	Permanent Hiatus	It was a summer of love. A summer to remember. A summer to become sexually confused. It was one summer Pamie spent letting us peek into a world where girls become boys, boys become objects of man-love, sisters become lovers with brothers, and Mamawhore reigned supreme. Relive the laughs, the shivers, the untimely death of Saint Clare the patron saint of television I. Feel the power of Verve's stare. Warm yourself up by the Lake Homoerotica fire. Quote the cheesiest lines with glee. Dance to the Steel Drums of Non-Gay Love. Young Americans was some really good eye-candy. Like all thing sweet, it was gone too soon.