Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "You must pay the rent!" "I can't pay the rent!"
By Miss Alli | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 02.18.2004
Night falls. S4. Boyfriend Bill is strolling around with no sleeves, because...well, it's probably not technically for me, but I appreciate it. (I also appreciate the Couch Baron pointing it out to me in case I was going to miss it.) Assorama insists to Tammy in one of the bedrooms that she's been a headache for three days. Oh, no, wait -- she's had a headache for three days. Sorry. Got a little confused. Maybe a piece of sheetrock fell on me. Assorama says, however, that her head is just "a little tender," nothing serious. Katrina takes the opportunity in an interview to compare Assorama's head bump with Heidi's mom situation, and to point out that Heidi was less whiny. Which is true. (And also Katrina really hates drama queens, with the possible exception of people who get mad as wet hams at the slightest provocation.) This Heidi-liking segment is all edited with the music and the smiling to make me like Heidi, which I still don't. Sorry. I mean, I'm glad she kept working, but...no. There's been too much ass-wiggling, leaning, jumping up and down, crowing, bitching, moaning, and protest-too-much-ing.
The next day, it's a parade of people getting ready to go to the early Boardroom meeting, which means there is all sorts of towel-wearing going on. Nick says he felt very good going into the Boardroom, and it could be "a positive attitude" or it could be "craziness." Or, of course, both. Troy points out that he's the PM, so if they win, that's cool, and if they lose, it's kind of bad for him. Thanks for the insight, there, Troy. Katrina can only talk about how excited she is about seeing Troy's face if her team wins. "The only way that Troy could have won," she says, "is by pure luck." Oh, I love pride. I mean, I love the good kind of pride, but the seven-deadly-sins kind of pride is even better.
In the Boardroom, Carolyn is smartly dressed in a red sweater, staring at the candidates. I love Carolyn. Don't know why -- just do. They all sit down. Trump has a seat. Carolyn says that she thinks VersaCorp did a great job. She says that the original rent was $1500; they rented it for $1650, which -- as Boyfriend Bill said -- was a ten-percent markup. Bernie explains that Protégé's original rent was $1200. They rented the place for $1525. That's a twenty-seven percent increase and a win for Protégé, if you're keeping score at home. So Protégé gets the victory. Unbelievably, Katrina brings up the paper exchange in the Boardroom, as if she actually thinks it's going to nullify the results of the task. "Troy didn't play by the rules of the game," she smirks, as if she has just unveiled some major scandal. Not only did Troy play by the rules of the game, sweetheart -- Troy did just what he said he was going to do. He said he would write down what he wanted, and he did. She's about as likely to impress with this line of argument as she is with her "I'm a good person" mantra. Ereka declares that Troy "didn't know what he wanted," and Boyfriend Bill agrees, and frankly, they're both wrong. Just flat wrong. Trump asks Troy if he knew what he wanted. "Absolutely," he says calmly. "She got emotional, and she attacked me personally." Both true. "I got emotional?" Katrina says, kind of freaking out and proving his point. "Did I cry, Troy? Look at me in the eyes, Troy, did I cry?" Good God. There are other ways of getting emotional, Katrina, like just generally losing your shit, as you're doing right now. It's bizarre to me that she is the one in this exchange who equates "getting emotional" with crying, because obviously crying is not what he's talking about. He's talking about taking everything personally and flipping your lid, as she just did.