Episode Report Card Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Requiem For A Transporter Beam
By Omar G | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.09.2001
It occurs to me that if Cpt. Quantum were down in the cave with that crew, I could just call him Captain Caveman. But the fates did not work in my favor this week. In said cave, the crew sits around, wheezing. Trip goes after T'Pol, asking her what she's going to tell the Captain about her "friends." Geez, man, she just started developing at an early age and -- oh, the aliens. Trip gets in her face, summing up the situation. Crewman outside in the wilderness. Rock people. T'Pol starts to say that she's just as concerned about Ensign Junk Food, but is interrupted by Trip laying into her for not caring about any of them. "That'd require some of those useless human emotions." Grrr! Must this be a restated point in every episode? She needs to lay some smackdown so everyone will leave her alone about that. T'Pol tells Trip that he's a victim of his own emotions and is becoming irrational. This prompts the single worst line in the episode. "You've never seen me irrational," Trip says, spitting the words at her face. If you're going to invest in a line like that, it's at least gotta be a good line. Mayweather interrupts by pointing out that they're running out of water. Why, did somebody say they were thirsty? Where did that come from? T'Pol says she detected water sixty meters away. With her divining tricorder. Trip lays on the paranoia. "How do we know you're not going in there to talk to your friends?" Trip says. Again with the friends. T'Pol invites him to come along. Oh, maybe there will be a jelly scene after all. Ensign Scrunchieface ruins the fun. She says it may be a trap. A sexy trap. T'Pol inches over to Trip. "I can survive without water for several days. Can you?" I try to imagine T'Pol all shriveled and dehydrated. The best mental image I can come up with is Teri Hatcher. "Sit down," Trip says, whipping out his phaser. We get one of many useless camera angles, this time top-down on the gun being drawn. Trip takes T'Pol's phaser. "You heard me," he tells her. She sits down.
On the bridge, Cpt. Quantum asks Hoshi how Ensign Junk Food is doing. Besides the clogged arteries, I mean. Hoshi says his vital signs are weak. When did she become the medical officer? We go to a shot of Junk Food. He's sitting down, screaming and crying.
ENSIGN JUNK FOOD: So, what's my motivation here?
RICK BERMAN: You're tripping. You're crazy. You're a crazy hallucinating man, but you're still honor-bound. Like that one guy…