Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Reports Of Granny Fairplay's Death Are Greatly Exaggerated
By Miss Alli | Season 7 | Episode 11 | Aired on 11.26.2003
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It is Day 30 at Balboa, and as Tijuana and Darrah stroll on the beach, Tijuana interviews that the two of them are the swing votes, and that they're now in the position of deciding whether to support the ouster of Burton or the ouster of Christa and Sandra. Darrah and Tijuana stop in the jungle to talk (as you do), and Tijuana opines that it's a perfect opportunity to get rid of the strongest guy in the game. They move right along to whom they'd get rid of after that, and Tijuana goes with Christa. I'm not sure how she thinks that's going to work, but I think she's far enough ahead of herself at this point that that's the least of her problems. Tijuana also tells Darrah that she thinks that Jon will vote with them. WHAT? Wait a minute, why bring him into it? Four is already more than three, Tijuana! You don't need five! All you need is a simple majority! There's no rule about a quorum! Tijuana! Come back here! Sigh.
Yes, for whatever highly regrettable reason, Tijuana has apparently lost her ever-lovin' mind and decided that the thing to do is to go along with Christa and Sandra, but to tell Jon what's going on as well. Christa and Sandra, meanwhile, are discussing the fact that they're just trying to get Burton out, and after that, they can go to what Sandra calls "plan number two." Whatever. There are only going to be six people left after this booting; there's a certain amount of flying by the seat of your pants that you're going to have to do at that point, no matter how tricky you think you are. Sandra also makes a highly dramatic appeal that they can crush Burton just as Rupert was crushed. Oh, remember when Rupert was crushed? Ah, good times. Not that I would gloat in Rupert's face.
So now here are Tijuana and Darrah, indeed having a chat with Jon and filling him in on their decision to vote with the women to boot Burton. He claims regretfully to accept their choice, even though he disagrees with it. Tijuana then tells Jon, totally gratuitously, that she already has the majority with her, so if he doesn't go with the Burton boot, he'll be in trouble. She doesn't seem to get that there's no need for this. If she had just...oh, never mind. Jon interviews that he's very unhappy with the possibility of Burton's leaving, because it's part of his plan for Burton to be around for a while longer. He, therefore, goes for a walk with the only people who can save Burton -- Sandra and Christa. He tells them flat out that he knows what they're up to, and that he thinks that Burton "deserves" to stay, and that Jon would rather keep Burton around so that they can eat. Now obviously, Sandra and Christa would be utter morons to believe this story, because Jon voted to oust Rupert the King of All Fishermen just last week. So they should obviously know immediately that Jon and Burton are close allies, which is Jon's only reason for coming to Christa and Sandra. Not that they probably didn't already know this, in which case I don't know why Jon bothered with the fish line, but whatever. Jon tells Christa and Sandra that Tijuana promised him that if he voted with her, she'd boot Christa after Jon. Basically, Jon is effectively convincing the girls that Tijuana and Darrah plan, after the Burton boot, to keep Lill and Jon rather than staying with Christa and Sandra. Sandra asks who Jon would suggest booting instead of Burton, and Jon throws Tijuana herself on the fire. Sandra tells him that she's afraid to make a move with him, because she fears she can't trust him. Gee, I wonder why. Christa asks if Jon would promise that he'd dump Lill before them as well, and he says he surely would. Sandra interviews all about what just happened, with Jon asking them to help him pull Burton's fanny out of the fire. Jon suggests that the three of them take themselves to the final four -- with Burton, I guess -- and Sandra hesitates again, citing her distrust of Jon. He swears on Dead Old Granny Fairplay that he's telling the truth, and I still say Sandra doesn't believe him, so I don't think he's getting very far with her that way, despite the fact that he's obviously very proud of this move.