Episode Report Card Sobell: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT He ain't dead, 'cause he's my brother
By Sobell | Season 1 | Episode 16 | Aired on 04.02.2006
When we get back from commercials, a woman named Susan is bustling around getting ready for dinner. She tells the kids to set an extra place because Mommy's friend is coming home from dinner. The boy lips off, "Again?" and the girl sees a chance to score points with her mom by helpfully piping up that she likes Mommy's friend. Susan directs the kids to be extra polite because Mommy's friend is stopping by Malarkey's on the way from work and bringing dinner. And there he is now. Susan opens the door…
…and it turns out Mommy's friend is T-Bag. He smiles almost shyly, as if nervous, and says, "Evenin', Miss Hollander. Don't you look lovely this evenin'."
Back at the office of the future, Michael is stealing the Fox River blueprints of the past.
Sucre is hanging out with his cousins on a back stoop. It's still snowy. I have no sense of how much time has elapsed in any of these developments, and it's irritating me, because now Sucre's talking about proposing to Maricruz and I am quite curious to know if this has been a whirlwind courtship or if he's gotten into a routine of knocking over convenience stores for dates or what. Anyway, Hector the underminer wants to know when Sucre will propose. Sucre says, "As soon as I can afford the ring," and Hector snarks, "So what is that -- ten, twenty years." You know, if I didn't think Hector was so incredibly odious, I'd have some grudging admiration for his patience and the deft, bloodless way in which he manipulates his cousin. Sucre wants to know why Hector can't be happy for him, and Hector insincerely protests that he's just trying to protect Sucre from the moment when Maricruz flips on the easy-listening station and realizes she is not, in fact, getting tired of her high-class toys and all her presents from her uptown boys. Captain Calories hops in and asks, "How you gonna afford a ring for a girl like that?"
Cue the sprightly Muzak of the convenience store. Hee! Sucre comes in to knock it over again, and as he's leaving, the flashing lights indicate that the cops are already there. As Sucre's led away to the car, we see Hector on the street, 911 still on his cell phone. Ooh, he is such a snake!
Meanwhile, in Madame Vice President's office, she's asking Kellerman if anyone's asking any questions. He assures her, "Not loud enough to hear." Madame Vice President says, "I can't remember the last time I was this much of a nervous wreck," and Kellerman affectionately says, "School board, second term, 1992." She laughs. I am totally curious as to the backstory between these two. Kellerman hands over a listing for a "Montana mansion," and tells her, "Secluded, no access roads, and perfect for what you're looking for. Only one problem: it's over two million dollars." Madame Vice President displays a flash of the calculating streak we've all come to know and love, and asks, "Didn't my brother Terrence leave me anything in his will?" Without looking at her -- but smiling in bemusement -- Kellerman deadpans, "Ask your accountants, ma'am." Madame Vice President says, "Tell them to use that money. I'm paying for his mistake. He can pay for the damn house."