Episode Report Card Pamie: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Control Your Woman
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.31.2005
Oh, man. It's been almost three hours and I have only recapped fifteen minutes. How did this get so long and out of hand? It's not like I've been doing email or surfing websites. I mean, yes, I spent fifteen minutes trying to find this band we saw in SXSW in 2001 because they had an Asian bassist that made all the boys I was with drool with delight, and I thought I'd post a link, but I can't remember their names, other than that I saw them at the Red Eyed Fly the same night I made a total ass out of myself in front of Janeane Garofalo, trying to pretend I knew something about Teddy Roosevelt, which I most certainly do not, but it made her talk to me, and I looked like I was smart, and man, I'm pathetic.
Luke's. Lorelai says hello to Lane, who has taken off her glasses. Lorelai, for some reason that makes no sense, cannot tell that's what's different about Lane, even though Lorelai herself wears contacts. But she's all, "Lane! You're so much cuter for some reason!" and "Gosh! You're just so much more beautiful for whatever reason I can't quite put my finger on!" Whatever, Lorelai. She reminds Lane that she has a boyfriend, so they probably shouldn't keep flirting. Lane asks if Lorelai wants coffee to go. "It's that special time of day," Lorelai says. Luke is mad because he can't fix the damn oven because of the damn thermostat. Can I tell you now that this "Damn" exchange goes on for quite some time, until Lorelai verbally diagnoses and then fixes the damn problem with the damn oven. This is because she spent all night reading the damn manual to the damn oven, since Luke doesn't have a damn television near his damn bed. It'd be more impressive if Lorelai didn't pronounce "face" as "fashe." (Princess Superstar: Is.) ["Also, Luke didn't have one book in his whole apartment?" -- Wing Chun] Lorelai decided to read the oven manual instead of the broiler panel because the oven was shinier and prettier. Luke informs Lorelai that she never ceases to amaze him. Lorelai: "And never will. Bye, doll." They kiss goodbye. Lorelai asks Luke to leave the broiler manual out for her tonight, as she's now into this whole kitchen literature thing. "Kitch Lit!"
Lorelai leaves, and mfTL enters. Lane bounds up to mfTL, ready to accept his gushing praise. Except mfTL isn't all that turned on by the lack of specs. He liked her glasses. "You don't look like you," he says. "You're the first smart girl I've ever gone out with, and the glasses are a big part of that." Lane says that her IQ didn't change, only the plastic she wore on her face. MfTL is bummed that people will have to talk to Lane for a little while to determine that she's not dumb. Lane is okay with that. MfTL's not. When a patron asks if he's supposed to eat his soup without a spoon, mfTL yells at him that Lane's not stupid; she's just not wearing her glasses.