Episode Report Card Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The agony of non-defeat
By Miss Alli | Season 8 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.21.2005
That night, the Linz boys entertain themselves by playing outside, while the Weavers sit inside their trailer thinking, as usual, about how the world is always stealing their lunch money and stepping on their dresses and making their Bibles all wrinkly. One of the girls pronounces the other teams "immature." And...threw trash. Tried to set up prank history lesson. Hooted out the window. I'm not saying anything, I'm just...saying. In an interview, Rachel says that they've all realized they're "on [their] own." Yep. No one to help them. It's like all the other teams are trying to win. Don't they know about God's will? God. I mean, "darn." Mama claims that they've tried over and over again to talk to people (…?) and "they just don't reciprocate." I'd love to know what she tried. Maybe she's counting the part where she told the Linzes to be more encouraging to the other teams.
Commercials. I move we allow Kermit a dignified retirement. All in favor?
At 7:00 AM, the Linzes tear open the clue that tells them to head for Heber City, Utah and find "Bart." Phil clues us in that Bart is a big old shark, and the teams will put on water skis, and...oh, no, I meant to say he's a bear. That's it. Yeah. You know, it used to be you had to find unfamiliar and exciting locations in Tunisia...now you have to find a trained trick-performing bear in someone's yard. I hope Bart isn't busy performing in a kid's birthday party when they get there, because that could make this quite challenging. In the car, Alex reads off the clue that they're heading specifically for Little Sweden Road to find Bart. Of course! There are probably a lot of Barts in Heber City, Utah. Better give a specific address so it's not too hard. Whew!
7:15 AM. The Weavers leave.
In the Linz car, the siblings speak admiringly about the landscape and how much Alex would love to fly-fish here. Over in the Weaver car, they can't believe how "ugly" the drive is. "Looks like a little pimple in the mountains," Rolly snots. I guess being crude is sort of the plank in the eye of the beholder, eh?
7:30 AM. The Bransens leave. 7:45 AM. The Godlewskis follow. In the Gadzookski car, Christine reads the part of the clue about how they can't "yell or run while on this property." "Yell or run," Michelle repeats while staring out the window. "Two big bad things for us." Heh.
The Linzes arrive in Heber City and realize they need some directions. "Make a right and ask this lady," one of them suggests. "That's a dude," someone else says. The lady-dude tells them that Little Sweden Road was about two miles back. The Weavers stop for directions as well. The Linzes are the first to arrive at the marked parking area on Little Sweden Road and the alleged location of Bart. They run up to a house with rather exotic plants and fancy doodads on the front porch, and the lady who emerges tells them to go around the side of the house to find Bart. When they get into the backyard, they find Bart, lumbering up a hill with their clue in his mouth. I guess Bart pays the bills on that front porch, so he is to be congratulated. Someone makes the obligatory "pick-a-nic basket" joke once they have the clue in hand, because if you couldn't count on a Linz boy to talk like a cartoon, you couldn't count on him for anything. The clue tells them to head for the Utah Olympic Park to find another clue. Phil explains that if you've forgotten, Park City, Utah was the home of the 2002 Winter Olympics, and he says that the teams will have to find the park and search for a clue. The clue also announces: "Caution. There is a Yield ahead." They head for Park City on 40, which is the interstate, which is a right and sane maneuver.