Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cheese Gotta Have It
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 6 | Aired on 07.21.2008
Doug and Andy spot Yoga Ass going up the stairs, and do some Scooby-Doo shit down the hall behind her, talking about how the best man will win. And then, of course, the best man does: Silas. I can't figure out if he became less of an apparent ass when he got hot, or if he got hot because he became nice. I think about this a lot, actually. Doug and Andy climb all over YA like flies, and then Rad -- the little boy Nancy met and befriended in the first episode -- comes in yelling about something. "Who are you talking to?" hisses Andy, and of course Yoga Ass is Rad's mom. They discuss how the only other thing we know about her is that she owns a cheese store called Cheese Gotta Have It, which made me laugh. She takes off with him, giving Silas the eye, and Andy fingers her hair and then smells the finger with which he hair-fingered.
"Your kid is scary," says the coffee-table man. "My kid is awesome, you're just cheap," Nancy says. Then some guys in Madras turista gear grab Nancy, throw a black pillow case her over head, and stuff her in a towncar trunk. This show is just predictable enough that I was like, "She's going to fuck that guy in the suit, and this is how."
Shane counts up the total from the estate sale on the beach with Doug and Andy, but goes off to the hide the cash when Doug offers to hold it for him. Left to their devices, the boys stare out at the beach, noticing first a beautiful woman whom -- since she's wearing a dress in the ocean -- Doug assumes is a "wild hippie." Then she is joined by a man, also in his clothes... And then there are a dozen people walking out of the ocean. "This is weird..." says Andy, and then two cops on ATVs come flying over the sand like that movie A.I.
Doug and Andy enjoy the show as the cops hunt them down and toss them in the sand facefirst... Until the first lady comes running up, begging for help. Doug falls totally in slow-motion love with her: "You are so beautiful! You are like a mermaid. A Mexican mermaid! Mermex!" Doug amends his Mexican hatred to only include "the fat ones," and the cop arrives, tossing her on the ground. Doug swears that she's his girlfriend, who likes swimming in her clothes, and Andy tells the cop that his job sucks. "They just want to clean our toilets!" The girl is like, "Um, or sewing. Or telecomunications..."
Doug swears romantically that he'll find her, and then she quickly poses for a cell phone picture, hilariously, and takes his sandal. "Maria Mermex!" Doug calls. "Señor Flippy-Flop!" she screams. Was that offensive? How about this: now that Doug is in love, he's ready to join Andy and become a coyote. Sigh. For all the shit that gets piled on Nancy's head every time she steps outside the line, I hope they end up brutalized in Tijuana. You know it would be funny. I want to see them all made up like cholas.