Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Keep Smiling, Old Man
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 17 | Aired on 03.25.2001
Elaine knocks on Mark's office door, because apparently the two of them have no place to discuss their relationship outside of their workplace. Mark is silent and uncomfortable-looking. Elaine says she isn't there to excuse her infidelity -- just to explain it. She claims that her insecurity about her relationship with Mark is what caused her to screw that other guy. "I mean -- we're biding time with each other, Mark. We both know it," she says. The sad piano plays as Mark opens his mouth slightly and then quickly closes it. He never opens his mouth anymore, and I think you people posting on the forum know why. "You're a great guy. And what I did the other night was despicable. But we should just quit while we're behind," concludes Elaine as the oboe moans. Poor Mark.
In the Unisex, Gilbert confides to John that the wedding's off now that he knows Julie's "a gold-digger." Julie immediately emerges from a nearby stall, of course. Then Jackson walks in and John tells him that he and Larry are responsible for this breakup. Meanwhile, Elaine stomps into the stall Julie just vacated. I'm guessing all the other stalls are filled with eavesdroppers already. Elaine turns and tells the others to go someplace else if they're going to talk about love. "This is a bathroom!" she says. If she hears any more about true love, she's going to vomit, she promises. John grabs Julie, hauls her over to Gilbert, and starts talking about his moldy old relationship with Melanie. Then he asks if Gilbert loves Julie. Gilbert says that he does, and we're treated to the sound of Elaine puking. John pauses for just a moment before asking Julie if she loves Gilbert. "More than anything," says Julie, causing more vomit noises. They keep talking and Elaine makes a particularly nasty retching noise. The fiancés hug. Jackson asks if he and John should hug. The joke falls flat, much like this entire recap is probably doing, considering the shit-rate material I'm having to work with this week. You know, at least when I say that this show makes me want to vomit, the readers aren't forced to hear me doing it.
Ling meets Thompson Son at the hospital and asks how his dad's doing. Thompson Son says the operation was a success but that "it's kind of hitting him now," meaning the death of Thompson Mom. Ling goes in to see Henry. He's in a super-bitchy mood, asking if she's there to collect her fee. He doesn't smile at all and tells Ling that he'd prefer to be alone. She leaves and he pulls a framed photograph of his wife out from under his sheet. Ling spies on him through the window as he caresses the picture, and then we hear more retching as Vonda sings "Somewhere Out There (Fivel's Song)." Is that the name of it? You know which one I mean, right? I mean, that is why you're retching, isn't it?