Episode Report Card Pamie: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Control Your Woman
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.31.2005
Oh, how cute. Lorelai's trying to run a staff meeting at the Dragonfly. Let's listen to hear what she says when she pretends she's the boss. There are all these "workers," and they're wearing "uniforms." It's really quite adorable. Lorelai reminds everybody to punch their time cards: "Punch in, punch out, including lunch and breaks." Hysterical. Like Lorelai, the woman who has no cancellation policy, would force people to punch out for their breaks? What kind of she-devil boss did she become over the past week? "Janice? Am I paying you to eat that sandwich or are you going to eat it while you clean out the horse stable? That's what I thought."
Lorelai then starts the Dragonfly's first official sexual harassment seminar. Michel says, "Finally. Yes, good. Talk to them." Lorelai tells everybody that sexual harassment is bad, so they shouldn't touch anyone else unless he or she is specifically asked. Michel is outraged that this is the extent of Lorelai's lecture, but unless she wants to get sued by quite a few people at this inn (Digger, Sookie, Michel, Grumpy Tom, the Goldfarbs), she'd better keep the rules flexible. Michel thinks that everybody has been harassing him lately. He doesn't want to be ogled just because he walks with a sway and a bounce. Lorelai interrupts, just as Michel is blaming Pilates for his amazing ass, to tell everyone to refrain from ever touching Michel. Lorelai then tells "Billy" and "Adam" to lock the padlock securely because the horses keep getting out, and Cletus was practically in the inn. Didn't all of you think they got rid of the horses months ago? Billy and Adam are like, "Right, lady. Just as soon as you pay one of us."
Lorelai then notices that Kirk is in the back, which leads me to think she doesn't actually look at her employees, or she might have noticed the extra one staring at her -- the one she sees every day in Stars Hollow. Kirk is thinking about going into hotel management (Note to Kirk: run away! Get out while you still have your sanity!), and he's sort of surveying the staff meeting, taking notes for himself. Lorelai tells him he can't crash a staff meeting, which Kirk immediately notes into his notebook. "I'm learning so much," he says to a nameless Dragonfly worker. (Marilyn Manson: Mechanical Animals.)
Michel takes the floor to tell everyone that someone is breaking into the rooms and stealing bars of Toblerone. Sookie immediately looks guilty. I'm not being mean; she's totally the thief. You'll see. (Spoiler alert!) Lorelai's all, "I bet it's the guests!" Michel says that not only do they have thieves, but it's an inside job. Sookie's all, "THAT'S CRAZY! HAS ANYBODY SEEN RORY? SHE SLEPT WITH DEAN! LOOK OVER THERE! IS THAT CLETUS?" Michel suggests surveillance cameras, fingerprinting and FBI involvement. Lorelai tells everyone to drop their pants for Michel as they leave, and adjourns the meeting. Kirk complains that the break room spread isn't as good as some of the other companies he's been surveying.