Episode Report Card Monty Ashley: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT All About Scallops!
By Monty Ashley | Season 5 | Episode 2 | Aired on 02.05.2009
Carol gets eight perfect scallops. Paula has one acceptable out of ten. Coi has six. Colleen gets five out of six. LA has eight out of eight, and interviews that she should have done better. Ji has four. Lacey has three out of six for a women's total of 35. Bring on the men! Ben does poorly (three out of eleven), which leads Danny to mock him in an interview. Yeah, I feel like in a situation like this, you should save the smack talk until the third or fourth episode. You never know when you'll look like an idiot. But Danny does get nine out of ten, so that's pretty good. Giovanni has thirteen out of fifteen as Robert interviews that the women "went from hero to zero. Boop!" I include the "boop" in case it turns out to mean something. But I won't hold my breath. Robert has five. Charlie has two. The men are behind by three with Seth and J to go. Seth has three. The score is tied! Will J get any in? He only has six finished and the first five are rejected. He interviews that "It's not looking good for J." So I guess he's committed to the third person. Why would you do that? We've recapped a lot of reality shows on this site, and I'm pretty sure that no recapper has ever said "Oh, this guy talks about himself in the third person a lot. He's pretty cool!"
Anyway, before we find out about J's last scallop, we go to commercial on a tropical fish that breathes bubbles in the shape of the Hell's Kitchen pitchfork. Nice job! When we come back, I learn that the technical term for scallop disassembly is "shucking". Oh, and J's last scallop is acceptable and the men win a prize Gordon claims is "quite unique". They'll be going to Catalina Island (along with thousands of other people. How unique!) with Gordon while the women spend all day shucking things for a Raw Bar they'll be having at the next dinner service. Lacey shakes her head ruefully and Ramsay demands to know if she really cares. She says she does, but no one believes her.
The men are sent upstairs to get dressed for the helicopters. Ben interviews that he knows nothing about islands, being from Chicago. I wish I knew enough about Chicago to dispute him on this. According to Wikipedia, there is an island in the Chicago river, but I don't know if it's a prominent enough island that I can make fun of Ben for not knowing about it. Be that as it may, the women file glumly into the dorms and Lacey gets into bed and starts sobbing that she wants to go home. Ji tries talking to her in the vain hope of getting her to stand up and stop being a drag on the team. Suddenly Robert gets a call from Chef Ramsay to meet him in the office that I always wonder about. It's a room above the dining room with a desk in it, but I don't think he really uses it.