Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Final Countdown
By M. Giant | Season 7 | Episode 24 | Aired on 05.18.2009
Gohar stands peering through the window of Kiefer's darkened hospital room, until loud, dizzy footsteps come clacking up next to him. "Daddy," Spawn whispers upon seeing Kiefer comatose in the bed. "I'm too late." Yes, Spawn, that's why he's still in the bed alone with all the machines hooked up to him. Idiot. Dr. Macer, who happens to be standing nearby, explains it's just a coma. She fails to mention that it's Kiefer's last coma. Spawn suddenly wonders who the swarthy dude next to her is, and he introduces himself. "My name is Gohar. I'm a friend." Spawn's confused, as always, probably because who ever expected Kiefer to have a Muslim friend? Gohar assures Spawn that Kiefer has accepted the situation. But of course, Spawn hasn't, and with Kiefer out of action, it's suddenly all about her. She asks Macer if the stem cell treatment is still an option. Macer reluctantly says it's not too late, and starts to warn her about the risks, but Spawn shuts her down. "It's my choice now, and I've made up my mind." Try wagging your finger at her, Spawn, that always helps people take you seriously. Macer pulls out a cell phone to get into a surgical suite. "Have Dr. Rosen call me right away." And don't forget to page Dr. Rosenrosen and Dr. Rosenpenis. Instead of calling her husband/boyfriend and telling him not to pick her up at the airport because she won't be there, Spawn goes into Kiefer's room and sits on the edge of his bed, taking his hands and saying, "I'm sorry, Daddy. But I'm not ready to let you go." Kiefer doesn't react, because -- get this -- he's in a coma. What a dynamic and exciting close for the season. It's 8:00:00.
So that "cliffhanger" is a wrap for Season Seven. As slow as that last half hour was, I have to admit, I thought it hung together better than most seasons in general. Most of my nitpicks for the overall arc are pretty minor compared to the kind of thing I usually have to bitch about. But presumably next season they'll be going back to the old system of making it up as they go along, unless the WGA goes on strike again. So at least my job of pointing out all the places where the whole thing falls apart should be easier. See you then.M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.