Episode Report Card Michael Neal: B- | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Subway Hero
By Michael Neal | Season 2 | Episode 12 | Aired on 04.17.2008
Best gags of the night:
I'll be your Huckabee
Lemon: "Like who, Chuck Norris?"
Jack: "C. Nor and I had a falling out after I switched to another dojo."
The infamous Florida strategy seeps into pop culture. Ready the Wiki page.
Jack: "Exonerated Dateline predator. The whole thing was one big silly misunderstanding like the Giuliani campaign."
Matriculation
Dennis: "I knew that girl was 18. She told me that her last boyfriend was Asian and that crap doesn't start until college."
Almost Famous
Kenneth: "Son of a Married Couple its Bucky Bright."
Jack: "You know who this is?"
Kenneth: "Who doesn't?"
Jack: "Most people"
Absentee ballots
Kenneth: "No sir I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin. I just write in the Lords name."
Jack: "That's Republican. We can count those."
With no power comes zero responsibility.
Frank: "Wow, I never would have had the guts to do what that dude did."
Lemon: "You don't know that."
Frank: "I do know. I've watched seven different people die in subway stations."
Wesley Snipes accountant
Jack: "Do you like lower taxes?"
Tracy: "If I paid taxes I sure would."
The Will Hunting of entourages
Jack: "Dotcom this need you have to be the smartest guy in the room is ... off-putting."
Dotcom "I guess that's why I'm still single."
Silent Comedy Award Tracy dances feverishly in his dressing room to "We Didn't Start the Fire." Long Island, you stand proud.
Tracy, regrets? A few ...
"I can't believe I'm dead. There was still so much on my bucket list. So many different buckets I wanted to own. Buckets!"
Sammy Davis smorgasbord
Tracy: "Wow. You were a Republican?"
Richard Nixon: "He sure was. Black. Jewish. One-eye. White wife. It was a big tent back then Tracy."
What happens when Colin Powell gets a 'Reverse' card in Uno?
Jack: "Dennis, what are your politics?"
Dennis: "Social conservative. Fiscal liberal."
Smells like Australian toilet water.
Dennis: "You know what I'm talking about Jack. You smell rich."
Jack: "Thank you. My cologne is distilled from the bilge water of Rupert Murdoch's yacht."
Write this down Obama
Dennis: "You've got to be a man of action in this world, you know? You can't over think stuff."