Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Mark says, "Psych!"
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Aired on 11.12.2000
As she closes her office door, Ally shows us the back view of her tight red pants. Now I feel silly for complaining about the lavender and brown. Michael apologizes for running off the night before. He and his son agree that Ally "might be the most amazing woman on earth" and that it'd be a shame if one of them couldn't snag her. Um...yeah. A size-eighteen woman can't expect sex from her husband, and Ally's the most amazing woman on earth. I guess that's as believable as anything on The X-Files. Ally doesn't know Michael or Jonathan well enough to choose between them, so she says she'll continue to date them both. She won't "exchange saliva or bodily fluids" with either until she's "narrow[ed] the field to one." She tells Michael she'll have a date with him that night and then pushes him out of her office. Then she bangs her head on the door and repeatedly voice-overs, "I'll look back and laugh." Yes, and future television audiences will look back at reruns and laugh at the silly generation that kept this show on the air.
In the Fish & Cage lobby, John expresses surprise that Ally intends to date both men. Ally says something about the dearth of good men and how a guy might turn out to be an escaped convict or even a woman. "Hey, lay off it. Could you do that, please?" says put-upon Mark as he passes. Richard points out that Thanksgiving dinners would be awkward if Ally ended up marrying one of her boyfriends. "This is private, Richard," Ally pouts. Then why are you talking about it in front of everyone at your work, Ally? Richard informs us that Ally's wages are being garnished and held in escrow due to Kimmy's lawsuit. Ally runs off in a snit to have Elaine type something.
Nelle runs into Cindy getting off the elevator. She gasps loudly, saying that Cindy startled her. While Mark and Cindy make plans to meet for lunch, Nelle frantically pushes at the elevator buttons, causing the alarm to go off. I guess she doesn't realize that she could get transsexual cooties being in the elevator so soon after Cindy. Mark and Cindy kiss while John and Richard watch in disgust. Cindy gets back on the elevator, which Nelle is somehow still on. "My penis makes you nervous," Cindy tells her. Nelle looks aghast as the door closes. I bet they had sex during the commercial break.
Ally barges into Larry's office. "Let me guess," he tells her. "The son has a twin." She says that she wants to hire him for her defamation defense. He assumes that she's checked out his credentials. She bobs her head to "My Girl." He bobs along, waiting for her to snap out of it. She ascertains that he wants the job, thanks him, and starts to leave. He has to prompt her to tell him about the case. She does her stupid-ass giggling routine and then tells her version of what happened with Kimmy. Larry asks if Ally's wealthy. She's offended until he explains that he has a professional reason for asking. Then he asks if she's ever been married. "How is that relevant?" she says. He says that it isn't, that he just wanted to know. Larry wants to go to court immediately to show Kimmy that they aren't messing around. They make their plans. Then Larry tells Ally (Hey, that rhymes with When Harry Met Sally!), "The son will probably live longer."