Episode Report Card Sobell: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Unquiet riot
By Sobell | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 09.25.2005
T-Bag then hops off the bunk to snipe at Jerry the CO about the heat. Jerry is none too sanguine about the HVAC system's apparent malfunction. And then, because nothing spells "easy day" like "four dozen hot 'n' testy inmates, two guards," the gates slide open and it's time to line up for count. As Jerry walks down the line, T-Bag steps out and yells, "Why don't you transfer us all to someplace cooler? Like Africa?" Everyone grumbles their assent. Why couldn't T-Bag have referenced his native region with, "Man it's hot. It's like Africa hot. Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot"? That would have been funny. And I can't imagine why Neil Simon wouldn't be thrilled to have a violent pederast quoting his work.
Jerry tells T-Bag to get his ass on the line, but T-Bag stays put. Several other cons step over the line too. On the second tier, Sucre and Michael watch with anticipation. T-Bag's all, "We'll move when the temperature sitch-ee-a-shun is rectified." A second CO radios Bellick and warns him, "We got some cons popping off." Over in the infirmary, Bellick is fairly dismissive of this report, implying that the CO's a big fat wussy for not wading into a pile of four dozen inmates and beating them all senseless.
On cue, this is when Dr. Tancredi wanders over: she tells Bellick she got a call that a prisoner was suffering from heat exhaustion. "He's faking it," fellow medical professional Bellick replies. He tries warning Dr. Tancredi off, telling her, "We got a bunch of overheated cons getting loud in A-wing," and Dr. Tancredi says she doesn't blame the guys. Bellick tells her, "Everything's under control, but you should go back to the infirmary building. When things calm down, I'll transfer your patients over from sick bay. I'm just looking out for your best interests."
Dr. Tancredi replies, "I appreciate that, but Officer Bellick, you and I both know that it's illegal to deny a prisoner medical care, and you could lose your job over it. I'm just looking out for your best interests." Heh. I like how in this little exchange, we've established that Bellick and Tancredi have a history of butting heads and we've manufactured the excuse to have Sara around for when the shit hits whatever fan Michael's jury-rigged. Well played, writers!
Back on the cellblock, Jerry's busy telling T-Bag not to be such a baby, adding, "It's not that hot." T-Bag shrieks, "Not that hot? When [this African-American gentleman to my left] woke up this morning, he was white!" The inmates holler over this. Jerry stands there, searching for the perfect comeback and finally settling for the classic throw-the-drink-in-the-guy's-face move. That does not have the desired effect. The cons continue to riot, and Jerry bellows that they're all in lockdown now.