Episode Report Card Keckler: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Kir'Royala
By Keckler | Season 4 | Episode 9 | Aired on 12.02.2004
The Geordi. The Four Kings of Orient Are get ambushed by some Vulcans. They want the Dead Surak Scrolls. Quantum won't hand them over, so they fight. And in the middle of the fight -- where we finally get to see T'Pau exhibit some of that legendary Vulcan strength -- Quantum fucking does the VULCAN FUCKING NECK PINCH. And it WORKS! Hate. T'Pol is clobbered, and despite the fact that Quantum doesn't want to leave her behind, T'Pau shoves him down a hole. I knew I liked her for a reason. Dude, do you know what these High Commandos are fighting with? Those are fucking lirpa! Man, can open. Anvils everywhere. T'Pau and Quantum slide down a dry waterslide and land in a cavern. Quantum's pissed at the shoving, and T'Pau says she was protecting the Dead Surak Scrolls.
T'Pol wakes up to find herself in custody of the High Commandos. She tells them that they're taking the Dead Surak Scrolls to Mt. Selaya because it contains Surak's most embarrassing dear diary moments and only the priests on the mount can translate them. The head High Commando grabs T'Pol and threatens, "If you are deceiving me." T'Pol tips her chin up and says, "I am a Syrrannite -- we don't lie." Oookay?
After the commercials, Head High Commando allows a staggering T'Pol to rest and offers her his water. She refuses. "You've changed," Head High Commando notes. At first I thought he was a past slampiece (tm, hysterically, Demian) but then Head High Commando reminds T'Pol that he served under her command years ago. I think Head High Commando sounds suspiciously like Shower Guy, even though I know it's not the same actor. Head High Commando wonders why T'Pol betrayed them and bombed the embassy. T'Pol picks up the Syrrannite mouthpiece where Quantum carelessly dropped it down her pants and says that they've been misled; the Syrrannites are peaceful people. "I have spared your life because you were once my superior -- your companions won't be so fortunate." Oh, whatever -- if I believed that would actually come to pass, I'd be celebrating right now.
Shran's ship. Shran's commanding officer wants an update. Shran yells that he's not ready. Soval giggles at this. "You find this amusing?" Shran demands. "Ordinarily I wouldn't but because of this device..." Soval trails off, shrugs, and giggles again. I think it's the shrug I love the most. Shran says, "There...are...three --" I TOTALLY expected him to say "LIGHTS!" -- "higher settings on that panel. If I use them..." Soval sneers that Shran is afraid to use them, and wonders how he's going to explain that to his commanding officer. Shran's ship is fired on by Enterprise.