Episode Report Card Strega: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Obligatory Rashomon Reference
By Strega | Season 2 | Episode 17 | Aired on 09.07.2000
In another cliffhanger cop-out, it turns out that the Plokavians were bluffing. Steve asks Crichton to tell them who did it. Eydie adds, "Otherwise, we will commence the executions with you! For real! We totally mean it this time and aren't just trying to scare you! Probably!" Crichton sighs, "It's the same everywhere: good cop, bad cop." He says that they don't want the truth; they want a scapegoat. Steve insists that they want justice. Crichton pffts, "Then listen up. Yes. We. Are. Lying. You say we're going to be executed at dawn. Is it some big surprise that we'd cover for one another?" He says that he's going to tell them the truth: he doesn't know what happened. Steve looks a little abashed, in addition to looking melted. Crichton then offers to tell them the truth about what he saw. "No coverings, no editorials, no axes to grind." He says they've got it right, up until Crais mentioned "the Plakavoids."
Flashback. Stark gasps, "The Plakavoids? Are you fahrbot?" Hee. Everyone calls them Plakavoids in Crichton's version. The dumb jokes are the best jokes. Zhaan asks who the Plakavoids are, and Stark describes them as, "a dangerous race who build horrific weapons." Crais wants a dampening net; D'Argo thinks otherwise; they can supervise. Crais mentions that Talyn "won't part with his cannon willingly." Crichton asks, "Can you blame him for that?" D'Argo says that they won't be a party to this, and Stark adds that the Plakavoids are evil. Crais says that this will help Talyn and D'Argo suggests that breaking Crais's neck might help Talyn even more. Crais mentions the guidance he provides, and this time it's Zhaan who says, "You mean, your control." Aeryn fondles the transponder as she suggests that she might have better luck as Talyn's captain. Crais says, "Doubtful. He trusts me." Crichton sighs, "Then he's the only one around here who does." Crais says he's only used the weapons in self-defense, and Zhaan mentions the Halosians. Crichton's not convinced. There's a beep, and Crais says, "The Plackavoidian vessel's here!" Ha! Stark grumbles about dealing with the Plakavoids. While D'Argo goes to look at the hologram, Crichton asks, "Assuming we want to neuter Talyn, are these really the people we want to be in business with?" Crais says there aren't any other options, and then tells the Plakavoids that they're early. Stark begins edging up toward the console while Crais explains that Talyn can't eavesdrop. Crichton suddenly asks Stark what he's doing, and Stark declares, "We have to strike first!" He turns back to the console and Crichton rushes over. They conveniently block our view of the console as they fumble with each other, and then it's Stark who gasps, "What have you done?" right before he slaps the button. Zap, boom. Plakacorpse!