Episode Report Card Omar G: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Zoneno!
By Omar G | Season 8 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.06.2008
The Fortress of Phantom Zoneitude. Clark, wounded, stumbles in. He grunts and breathes heavily. He sees Kara pinned beneath some rubble. Clark runs to help her. He thought she got out. Kara, who has the same wound on her forehead that Clark and Lois had before, says that a wraith escaped. It was The Wraith Escape! (Whistles the theme song.) Clark notices a pool of blood beneath Kara. He says he's going to get her out of there. He tries to pull a girder off her, but can't do it. Damn these feeble arms! Kara tells Clark to open the portal before more prisoners come. What happened to, "We shouldn't ever open the portal," Kara? It's not like you can fight them off if they show up. Clark says they'll kill her. Kara tells Clark to look at her. She says it was her destiny to find and protect Clark, not the other way around. She wants him to go. Clark's not going anywhere. It's mid-season. Time to start treading some water for a while.
Chloe is looking at the screen of her cell phone. She has a message that reads, "To Watchtower. Approaching Target." She's standing at the As-Is Foundation. She turns around and Lois-Alien is standing right there. Chloe, relieved to see Lois, hugs her. Lois-Alien does not respond in kind. Chloe senses something is wrong. "I read your articles, Chloe Sullivan!" Lois-Alien says. What did you think? They were good, right? You can be honest. Did you find them newsy enough? She asks Chloe what she knows about the Kryptonian spacecraft that landed in Smallville. A lot! Tons, really! You wanna go get some coffee? "Where's Clark?" Chloe asks. Lois-Alien says that the man she calls Clark (and whom I call "Doofus") will die in a prison his father created. Chloe asks what she did with Lois. She says she used Lois as a vessel. "Not my first choice," she says (ha!), "but surprisingly flexible." Chloe asks her name. "Faora," she replies. Gesundheit. Is that a name or a kind of fungal infection? "Wife of Zod," she adds. Oh, good, because that guy was a dick. Chloe has heard enough. She tries to run. Faora has superzipped and stands in front of Chloe at the front door. "Where's my son?" she asks. Chloe, scared, says she doesn't know what Faora's talking about. CHOKE HOLD! Faora lifts Chloe up by the neck. Chloe says she can't breathe. Or at least not much more than is required to say those words. Conveniently, she drops some file folders she was holding. Faora looks down and sees a photo of Davis sticking out of the file. Wow. It's that easy. These alien wraiths have all the luck in the world. And some other worlds, too. Faora drops Chloe. She has the decency to thank her, at least. Then she zips away. MILFy!