Episode Report Card Sobell: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT An innocent civilian -- dead!
By Sobell | Season 2 | Episode 8 | Aired on 10.22.2006
Unsurprisingly, the garage is empty. You would think that by this point in his short but intense relationship with T-Bag, Michael would have known better than to think that the survival-minded con would have hung around waiting for the police to show. I guess it hadn't occurred to him to mastermind a plan, make up a series of mnemonic clues, then get them tattooed on his forehead just in case this eventuality ever sprang up.
C-Note takes a look around, stammers something about needing to take off, then sprints out the door. Michael sighs and heads back inside the house. He grabs Ann's police radio. She tells him, "They're going to get you." He does not reply, "Is this show titled Pregnant Cop In A Kitchen? No. It's the Hot Cons In Half-Buttoned Shirts Hour. So, uh, no, I don't think anyone will be coming to get me." After Michael leaves, we see T-Bag stop by the kitchen window and look inside. He is one crafty little bugger, is he not?
Meanwhile Dr. Sara is crouched on the floor of her apartment, trying to figure out when the Smack Fairy had time to make a visit. A guy walks out of the kitchen and says, "Ms. Tancredi... " She jumps out of her skin, as would most of us if we came face to face with the dude who shot and killed Veronica. (The rest of us would probably offer to buy him a drink.) The blond guy's all, "I didn't mean to startle you." What did he think would happen when he wandered out of her kitchen? That Dr. Sara would be like, "At last! The Lord has delivered unto me a man lacking either addictions or felony convictions"? The guy proceeds to make awkward small talk about Dr. Sara's recent bereavement, and Dr. Sara points out that her dad didn't commit suicide. She then picks up a vase and tosses it on the ground.
Agent Von Blondie asks, "What are you doing?" Dr. Sara sends another knick-knack flying as she shouts, "Making sure it doesn't look like I did [commit suicide]! People will ask questions if the day the governor killed himself, his daughter was found in what looks like a struggle." She cuts her arm with a convenient shard of pottery. Agent Von Blondie counters that they can recast the narrative thusly: "In an apparent bid to duck jail time, his daughter skips bail and disappears." As he backs her into the kitchen, he says, "I'm talking about your last minutes, Miss Tancredi." Dr. Sara does not point out that she didn't go through medical school so her killers could call her "Miss Tancredi." Fortunately, she's still got her bag over her shoulder and her pottery shard in her hand. Agent Von Blondie points out that the stuff on the table is premium and wouldn't it be nice to die while high? Dr. Sara stalls long enough to grab the bottle of "Bitsea Bug Rid" she happens to have next to the stove (let's hope she doesn't confuse it with PAM) and spray Agent Von Blondie in the eyes. Good on her! She then brains him with the can, throws a table in his way, then gets the hell out of the apartment via the fire escape. Agent Von Blondie manages to recover his eyesight fairly quickly, which tells us all that Dr. Sara should have probably bought Raid, but he's too slow to catch Dr. Sara.