Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Way We Were
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 17 | Aired on 02.25.2007
Outside, Lyle comes running up and tells them he called the police. He doesn't even spare a glance the Haitian's way, which seems kind of rude. If I were the Haitian, I'd totally make him forget how to use his GameCube.
Inside, Bennet desperately tells Sprague that they didn't make him the way he is, but they abducted him three months ago to identify him, as he was giving off low levels of radiation. Sprague seethes that they did nothing to stop it. Bennet tells him that there's no cure for his condition except killing him, and Sprague's about ready to break as he says he wishes Bennet had. Unbeknownst to everyone, Eric Roberts has entered through the back door. Since the Haitian and the other Bennets are out front, it's possible they didn't see each other, but that isn't clear. Bennet tells Sprague that he didn't think he had the right to take Sprague's life, but Sprague is like, "I wish you had." I will be eternally grateful to Eric Roberts for not saying, "As you wish." Sprague grits that because of Bennet's decision, his wife is dead. Bennet says he's sorry, and Eric Roberts intones, "So am I." Eternity sure didn't live up to the hype. Eric Roberts draws a gun. Bennet yells not to shoot, as he'll set him off, and Parkman tries to get Sprague out of the way, but Eric Roberts's shot hits Sprague in the shoulder. I think we're going to skip red on the Sprague Alert Scale and invent a new level. Maybe a deep purple? Is that angry enough? Well, he starts going nuclear, sending Parkman and then Bennet flying through the air. Parkman yells at Sprague to stop, but he can't, and soon everything's on fire and the air is so hot it's doing that wavy mirage effect. Parkman and Eric Roberts bail, but Bennet stays put under cover of the kitchen counter and gets the tranquilizer needle out. Outside, Claire asks about her dad, and a hacking Parkman tells her he's still inside. As the Haitian starts to remove himself from the scene, Claire runs up to the front door, but is thrown back by a mini-explosion. She goes around back instead, ignoring her mom's protests...
... and inside, she joins her dad, who tells her to stay down. He attempts to get close enough to administer the injection, but fails, and returns to Claire with a burnt arm. Of course, he should probably have been completely engulfed in flames by now, but we'll ignore that, as we'll also be ignoring the fact that the needle would completely melt before anyone could get it to Sprague's skin. Claire takes the needle from her dad as Parkman rejoins them. Bennet objects, but Claire tells him she'll be okay, and Parkman gets him out of there.