Episode Report Card Cate: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Choices
By Cate | Season 1 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.13.1997
But see, all too often it's the type of dreck you find in the next scene, where Dopey picks up Mary at the frat house. It starts off well enough, with Dopey starting to yell at Mary but then backing off when he sees how upset she is. It's a quick freefall to mediocrity, though, when Camille comes out and asks Mary if she's "bailing." Dopey's at his patriarchal ickiest as he gets out of the car and insists that he's bringing Camille home too. She stands up to him, as any sane woman should, sarcastically thanking him for the "stern dad impersonation" and calling him "Mr. Cleaver." But Dopey's practicing early for what I hope won't be a lifetime of wife abuse when he says, "Look, if you're not in the car on the count of three, I'm putting you in." I'm sad to report that Camille gives in to this. I agree that she shouldn't be driving herself home, since she was drinking earlier, but there's no indication that Dopey knew about the drinking. I think he's just being a dick.
Eric and Tom walk into the CamKitchen, where Annie, of course, has a big hug with Tom's name written all over it. They all talk about the ferrets for a while, and Annie tells the guys about the fifty-dollar bill the trolls found in the driveway. Tom starts to say, "That fifty was..." but he stops himself and finishes the sentence with "...lucky." Aw, what a great guy! Tom, I'm sorry I said I didn't care about you earlier. I still don't care about you, but it wasn't very nice of me to say so. Tom goes up even further in my estimation when he decides to adopt the ferrets. Annie notes that ferrets are illegal. Tom says, "Yeah, I know -- that's why they're so hard to get," and nobody bats an eyelash when he carries them off. It looks like anyone staying inside the CamPound has the local equivalent of diplomatic immunity, so it's not like Lieutenant Michaels is going to be dropping by to bust anyone soon. But good luck getting those ferrets on a plane back to Denver, Tom. I think that's one of those pesky continuity details we're not supposed to notice, though. RevCam says to Annie, "Our friend Tom has an incredible story that he wants to tell you himself before he goes back to Denver tomorrow." Annie is just thrilled that RevCam is finally calling Tom "our friend." Hey, what choice does he have? He can't exactly diss the epileptic guy, can he? ["Well, once a sucker -- er, 'a character' submits to RevCam's wise counsel, I guess he's a friend." -- Sars]
Interrupting this cozy bit of bonding is the return of Dopey and Mary. It takes SuperMom a few moments to clue in that Mary is not asleep in her bed and is, in fact, the girl Matt had to rescue from a party. But when Annie does realize this, she makes up for lost time by totally freaking. I can sympathize with her, somewhat, though I'm a little taken aback by exactly how vehement SuperMom gets with her diatribe. And when Mary explains that she met Camille in detention, RevCam says, "Oh, that's a great place to mingle and form long-lasting friendships." That's a little bigoted, don't you think? Hey, I was a National Merit Finalist and a straight-A student in high school, and I still got detentions. ["Me too, and me too. Usually for back-talking. Go figure." -- Sars] And it's not like Mary was in there for weapons offences or, say, something really shocking like smoking in the boys' locker room. She was late for class, period. Dickweed RevCam. Mary offers a very sincere apology, which, for reasons completely unfathomable, makes Dopey feel he must add his own sarcastic two cents: "Oh yeah, that covers it. Talk to me when they're done." He self-righteously storms upstairs to study his Promise Keepers literature, leaving Annie free to play drill sergeant some more. The result is that Mary gets grounded for thirty days. As Mary dejectedly tiptoes upstairs, Annie spits out, "We're glad you're back home safe and sound. You know we love you." She makes it sound really ugly, though. Annie wants to punish Lucy also, but RevCam manfully puts a stop to that, since he claims to have a grand plan "that will put [Lucy] in confirmation class first thing Sunday morning." How delightful that he has found a way to derail SuperMom's parental instincts while simultaneously forcing his daughter to partake of his religion. Now, that's synergy! I'm a little distracted by Annie's black-and-white big-plaid jacket, which looks almost exactly like the plaid coat I had when I was fourteen. In 1981.