Episode Report Card Monty Ashley: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Pizza is Delicious
By Monty Ashley | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Aired on 04.29.2008
The reward is for the women to go to a restaurant in Santa Barbara that serves a ninety dollar hamburger. Ninety dollars? Are they Kobe beef? Come to think of it, I've had a Kobe beef hamburger for eight bucks at a roller derby bout, so I don't think that would quite explain the price tag. Maybe the bun is plated in gold. Rosann claims that she's always dreamed of riding in a helicopter. Really? Because helicopters are all over the place. It's not like having a lifelong dream to ride in a Zeppelin. You have to get a job with Goodyear, and even then there are apparently differences between "blimps" and "Zeppelins". I appear to have gotten somewhat distracted, and I apologize.
Chef Ramsay berates Ben for leaving dirt on the mushrooms. Ben apologizes, "I'm sorry I let you down." "You didn't let me down. You let your team down," ripostes Ramsay. Between that and the "You surprise me...with how bad you are!" exchange from last week, I'm beginning to wonder if Ben will be kept around as a straight man.
The men's punishment is to prep pizzas, and they're all miserable. They won't even look at each other. Louross is actually crying, which does not impress Ben. Matt expresses a wish to win tomorrow, and to taste blood. That might not be the best idea. He also wants to talk strategy, but the others will have none of it. Hey, here's a strategy: don't serve raw food! Once you've mastered that, try not burning the food either. I have decided I am tired of Matt.
The women take a copper to SquareOne Restaurant and Bar in Santa Barbara. Back at the kitchen, Louross is still hurt over the "Pizza Shack" reference. Ben calmly and rationally explains that "there is no room for bitches in this game right now." Strangely, this does not soothe Louross's hurt feelings. Ben does not care for a man who cries. Maybe he should spend a little time with a little album called "Free To Be You And Me". And I don't care if no one gets that joke; it's awesome, and I'm leaving it in. The men's lunch is aptly described by Bobby as "a thin-ass burger on a... bun.." Looks like McDonald's to me. Meanwhile, a ninety-dollar burger looks a lot like the one I had at the roller derby. It is Kobe beef, but it also has braised Kobe short ribs and black truffle frites. Yeah, well, the burger I had came with something called "bacon jam". So there.
The women enjoy their meal and fly back to the kitchen, where they appear to be tipsy. The next day, it's time for prep. And Vanessa is having trouble, which you can understand. She goes up to Gordon's office, where he appears to be working, although I'm not sure how much time he actually spends on-site when he's not needed. Doesn't he own like fifteen world-class restaurants? Oh! I see that the Spiky Hooks of Rejected Chefs is in Gordon's office. I'd always wondered where they were; for some reason I thought they were in the hallway. Vanessa explains that the burned hand is making it hard to continue, and Ramsay tells her she can quit or not; the choice is hers. We go to commercial on the "flames in a frying pan" bumper, which I still think is a little tactless.