Episode Report Card Keckler: C | 77 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT One Flew Over the Kirkoo's Nest
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 31 | Aired on 1966.11.03
This is my last TOS recap of the summer and in a few short days we're going to be on the road headed toward a life (well, three years at least) of California Dreamin' All The Way. And as we're going to San Francisco, the cats will actually be wearing flowers in their fur. Now that I've got every California-centric song in my head except for the Beach Boys -- and that's only because a day doesn't go by that I don't have the Beach Boys in my head, but now I've learned to tune them down to a roar so dull you could spread butter with it -- I'll just thank all my gracious readers out there for making these episodes as fun to watch as they are to recap. Can't really say that about Enterprise, can I? Oops. Sorry, I forgot that I was moving toward a kinder, gentler Keckler now that I've got a Quantum action figure furrowing in my pen cup. Although, pursuant to that, I want to add that via the official site, I have seen the recent promo for the third season and he's still SO STIFF! I'm already starting to lose faith of the marbles.
Extreeeeeme close-up shot of a bottle of pills labeled "CAUTION Infra-Sensory Drugs. Destination: Tantalus Penal Colony. Att: Dr. Tristan Adams." A transporter op picks up the bottle. Hey, that wasn't a close-up, that's actual size -- it's a giglinormous bottle of pills! Where are all the stickers that say, "May cause vomiting and temporary blindness," "Take with plenty of alcohol," and "Eat me"? Wait, those are my personal Enterprise labels -- my little tin of Bongo's Balm for Boredom, Dr. Sussman's Superb Salve to Stave Off Superficiality, and finally, my self-renewing Prescription for a Poultice against Pernicious Pomposity. I even have one that says, "May cause frequent bowel movements and an inability to control them," but that particular pill is just for the times when T'Pol gets the urge to herbal.
The transporter guys load up the pad with more bottles and supplies and try to beam it down, but nothing doing. Kirk swaggers in and inquires sardonically if the "gentlemen" are having problems. No matter how many times they scratch their butts or pick their noses, the transporter flunkies can't figger out what's going on. Kirk, in his Infinite Wisdom as invested in him by his gold-trimmed spandex shirt, points out that they are trying to beam stuff down to a penal colony. "Their security force-fields, sir," one of the flunks acknowledges for us. Kirk calls the penal colony and asks them to drop their security field so they can beam down Alice In Wonderland's kidney stone prescription. Tantalus Colony acknowledges receipt of the pills and beams up something for Enterprise to take to Stockholm. Is it a big box of syndrome? A large container of classified cargo materializes, and Kirk advises the transporter op to re-familiarize himself with the procedures of dealing with penal colony transports. "Immediately, sir," the transporter op says ruefully. Kirk thinks he can take the time to lock up the box first, and leaves. The transporter op goes to get a vault assignment, and as the other flunk turns away, the box on the pad opens slowly and a man with an oxygen mask creeps out. The classified cargo runs over behind the flunk and fells him with that karate chop that never fails to knock the victim out on the first go on this show. The classified cargo then stands by the door and rolls his crazy eyes around.