Episode Report Card Demian: C+ | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Engaged And Confused
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 16 | Aired on February 25, 2006
Previously on CANCELLED!, it wassss raining outsssside the night the Retard'ssss ssssisssster wassss taken; Piper counseled patience in The Lisssspy Bimbo's dealings with her recently rescued sister; The Angel Of Teasley warned, "There's one more battle on the horizon for you three, one unlike you've ever faced before, one you won't see coming, and one you may not survive"; Darling Henry proposed to Raige atop the Golden Gate Bridge, and Raige accepted; The Lisssspy Bimbo gave Milk Carton Chrissssty a pep talk regarding her powers right before Chrissssty quite awesomely set the Bimbo on fire; Piper ranted about Chrissssty being the "key," which Phoebe thought might be a good thing; and The Zombie Triad rose from the dead to gloat and whatnot at Not!warts. Also, Phoebe's faith in true love was refreshed once every fifth episode since the series premiere, but they don't really want any of us to remember those particular installments.
We fade up on a heart-shaped chocolate cake in the Manor kitchen before panning up to take in Pack Mule Piper, slaving away to prepare the food for Raige's engagement party while bitching to Phoebe about it the entire time via the cordless. A quick cut of the camera zaps us over to The Hagquarters, where Phoebe's ransacking her closet to find something that will fit Chrissssty, who teeters in the background of the shot clad in nothing more than a set of silky pink undergarments and a pair of high heels. The Retarded Bimbo's there, too, flapping her arms around in the most useless manner imaginable, but I'll be ignoring her until she says something of importance, which means I might well be ignoring her for the rest of the show's run, because did I mention? CANCELLED! I love you, Dawn Ostroff! Marry me! In any event, as the two Ps continue to natter and bitch at one another, Piper scoops a set of plates up from the kitchen counter and sweeps into the dining room with them, the better for us to note the enormous heart-shaped floral centerpiece adorned with a golden ribbon that reads "Paige and Henry." I'm guessing this is one of the weeks when P3 is in the black, because God knows Raige is still a worthless layabout and therefore unlikely to be paying for any of this herself, and I really doubt Phoebe's still contributing to the Manor's general fund now that she's got her very own special condominium, but whatever. Phoebe's a hag, and this show is CANCELLED! Hooray! Mention is made of Piper's hard, icy Doltsicle before Piper herself vows, "Someone in this family is going to have a normal, happy wedding engagement -- party and all," and there's that word. I hate that word. Oh, hell, what am I talking about? I hate this show, period, and therefore I hate every single word on it including "and" and "the," so let's keep this moving, shall we? Referring to her hopes for a successful soiree, Piper inquires of the Feebs, "How's the [Chrissssty] project going?" "Really well!" Phoebe enthuses. "This morning we mastered the art of walking in high heels, and now we're just picking out an outfit, and we're gonna go on a little test run to a café -- see how it goes!" Piper mutters her approval because, as she puts it, "demons attacking at the party, [she] can handle, but [Chrissssty] eating with her hands?" Not so much. Phoebe promises Chrissssty will be "totally, totally ready" by the following evening just as Chrissssty, still tottering in her heels, loses her balance completely while pulling one of Phoebe's skimpy hand-me-downs over her head and crashes loudly to the floor. Phoebe grimaces as Piper demands, "What happened?