Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Season 4 Performance #6
By Kim | Season 4 | Episode 10 | Aired on 04.22.2007
Tom introduces the next couple while sitting in Apolo's chair with his feet up in the air, and it's actually quite impressive until he says that he's cramping. I swear I thought he said he was crapping. The next couple is Ian and Cheryl. We're reminded that the judges think Ian is too stiff, so this week, he vows to work on the showmanship. They are doing the paso doble, and Cheryl explains that Ian will need to play the character of a bullfighter. Ian practices very intensely.
Oh, you know I love Ian, but this routine just isn't working for me. It does kind of make me want to go out disco dancing with Ian Ziering, though. And that, my friends, is a sentence I never thought I would type in my entire life. I can't even explain what's wrong with it. I think that what I like about Ian is the hint of Steve Sanders goofiness, and that's totally missing from this routine. Len didn't like the routine at all, calling it "a disappointment." Bruno advises Ian to take more risks. Carrie Ann tells Ian that he has "moments of brilliance" and advises him to watch Billy Ray to see an example of passion. The judges actually get heckling from the audience, which cracks me up. The judges give them an 8, 8, and an 8 for a total of 24 out of 30. Afterwards, Ian explains that he stole one of the judges' scoring paddles and sent the other contestants a picture of himself holding a 10. Oh, those wacky backstage antics!
I am so excited for this part. It's the group swing dance, and since it's not part of the competition, they can do lifts and whatnot. Someone had better fall, and it had better not be Heather. First, we get a clip package of their rehearsal. The choreographer asks who the strongest guy is, and Laila raises her hand. Okay, that was funny. Ian explains that Heather and Jonathan weren't there. So are they not taking part at all? As they practice lifts, Laila observes that she should probably be the lifter and not the liftee. I would pee my pants if she tossed tiny Apolo through the air. Please, someone, make that happen.
So it starts, and it's kind of a clusterfuck at first, with people milling about and nearly kicking each other and whatnot. They finally get to the part where each couple gets a solo spot. Apolo and Julianne leap around like frogs, which sounds like an insult, but it isn't. John and Edyta do a move where she does a handstand and then he holds her legs while she does jazz hands, which ends up looking kind of dumb. And then Laila tosses Maksim, and then she PICKS UP APOLO and spins him around like a baby! I write this mostly in real time, so I swear I didn't know that was going to happen when I wrote the previous paragraph. That was the greatest thing ever, from a comedy standpoint. Ian and Cheryl do a pretty amazing set of flips, and then Cheryl pretends to be getting it on with Joey, and there's a fake fight with people holding people back, and isn't this supposed to be a dance number? Where's the dancing, people? I shouldn't complain. I got my wish of Laila dancing with Apolo. Heather does get a chance to do a move, and she does a handstand and Jonathan nearly drops her on her ass. I think she deserved a stronger (stronger in the sense of strength, not skill) partner. Billy Ray and Karina do the move my brother and I used to do when we made up routines during "Solid Gold" where he pulls her between his legs, which I think is a move I got from Laverne and Shirley. Billy Ray throws in some more air humping, and that really has got to stop. Okay, I have no idea what just happened at the end, but there were people on other people's backs and a human wheelbarrow. That routine could not have been a bigger mess and I LOVED IT! I wish they would do a group dance every week.