Episode Report Card Jessica: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Highway To Hell
By Jessica | Season 5 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.02.2002
On his way to his room…yawn. I'm sorry, I'm really bored by Charlie. Whatever. He's like David Silver during his "So Precious To Me" phase, except with even worse hair. And man alive, is this recap running late. So, long story short: midway to his room, Charlie runs into Pacey and they basically kiss and make up, although Pacey makes it clear that if Charlie hurts Joey, he will tear him limb from limb and feed him to the lions.
Pacey continues his journey back to his room, but takes a detour to talk to Joey at the pool. Blah blah, she's wonderful, blah blah, she's perfect, blah blah blah, she could break Charlie's heart "into a million pieces if [she] wanted to." Joey grins at him. "If I wanted to," she says. And he smiles. And goes off to screw her roommate.
The Ballad of Pacey and Audrey. She thinks he went out for condoms; really, he bought her a Ring Ding with a candle in it. It's like The Gift of the Magi, only tacky! "I wanted to extend to you a romantic gesture," he tells her, because "this is [their] first night together. No roommates, no backseats, no security guards. Just you and me together." Audrey melts. They mack. And the music tells us to "take the path of least resistance." In other words, give up on Joey and Pacey getting back together, because you're just opening yourself up to a world of hurt.
Capeside High School, where Dawson finds Jack and Jen confabbing on the steps of the school. Almost immediately, Jack leaps up to "check out the football field. Run a few laps. Rip out [his] shoulder," and bails. Dawson sinks down next to Jen and asks her what happened between the two of them. "Tell me anything," he says. And then they break up. It was really quite easy. In fact, it only took about three sentences: "It was right at the time." "We needed each other." "So what just happened? Did we?" "Yeah, we did." Okay, that was four. Shortest break-up ever! After a moment of silence, Dawson puts his arm around Jen and she puts her head on his knee. Whatever. The two of them could die in a tragic creek overflow accident and I wouldn't shed a single tear.
No-Tell Motel. Room 7. Joey sneaks in and lies down, fully dressed, next to the slumbering Charlie. She smiles knowingly. Ew.
Next week: More ew.