Episode Report Card Pamie: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Oddball Parade
By Pamie | Season 3 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.27.2000
Ally starts immediately bratting that Billy is raining on the one parade she gets. Ally says that Billy is running around with his nineteen-year-old secretary. Billy says that she told Sandy to pursue this relationship. Ally says that she told Sandy to pursue love. She thinks that the problem is Billy's pursuing Sandy. She asks again, "What is she, nineteen?" Same joke twice. "She's twenty-five, and she's a GOOD WOMAN!" Billy says. We all know what he means by that. Ally asks if that's all and Billy opens the door so her flailing arms won't hit her on the ass on her way out. Oh, God. Before I get to open my next beer, Ally starts that punching-music thing that I absolutely loathe. Ally punches three times and before my eyes start to bleed brain matter mixed with the blood she walks out of the room. As I bring my new beer to my lips she raises her finger to jut in her mouth, turns around and says, "Oh, oh, oh. And in the continued spirit of our candor? I can see your roots." The door shuts. Billy looks upward as if he can see them too. Ally. I can see your spleen.
Pan up to a transvestite saying that he feels natural in a dress. He says it makes him feel like himself and puts him in touch with his feminine side. He says he feels "soft. Supple." The entire jury lowers their heads to their notepads on the word "supple." John asks him if he was terminated from his job because of the way he dresses. He says he was. He says he was told that he had to start wearing suits or he'd be -- the rest of his sentence is cut off by another man at the table who claps three times. John reminds the court that Mr. Potts (The Clapper) suffers from a compulsive disorder that makes him clap his hands on occasion. We watch The Clapper dust off the table as Richard points out spots that he missed. John asks why Soft and Supple won't just wear a suit. S&S says that he's known since he was twelve that he was a woman. He went to a doctor, but was told that it was just a fetish. John asks if S&S told his boss that he had a medical condition. S&S says that he did and was fired anyway. On cross-examination, the defense lawyer says that S&S was working for a graphic-design company. He says that potential clients would come by the office regularly. He asks if they would stare at S&S. "Not for long they don't," S&S sasses. The Clapper claps three times. David E. Kelley is so winning an award this year for his gentle treatment of mental disorders. Mark my words. He's going to win one despite this mockery of humanity.