The Teen Choice Awards 2001
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Okay, so a few months back we recapped Teenapalooza, which was a wack Sisqo-and-Shaggy-laden assault on our eyes and ears, during which they previewed a bunch of the awards to be given out here tonight, on The 2001 Teen Choice Awards. Make sense? Yes? Do you care? No? Too bad. Pamie and Stee are joined tonight by Pamie's little sister, Bosie. We are mean enough to make her spend part of her trip to Los Angeles watching us watch a crappy awards show. We're the worst hosts, ever.
Pamie: These are the Teen Choice Awards! Starring Pamie, Stee, and special guest Bosie!
Stee: You are such a tard.
Pamie: Yay!
Stee: Seriously.
Pamie: Yay! Say it!
Bosie: Yay.
Pamie: Yay!
Stee: Is that Sisqo?
Pamie: That's Shaggy. "Teenapalooza forevah!"
Bosie: I'm gonna smoke a cigarette. Two hours? This is two hours long?
Stee: Yeah. Fuck.
Auditorium. People scream. Shaggy walks out in a gold shirt. It seems like this is a SNL sketch with Tim Meadows, but it's actually him. We could have sworn Shaggy was done forever. Guess not. He introduces the "Moulin Huge" and oh no. The song starts and it's four fat women dressed as the hos from the song, but now named Big Kim, Mayo, Cotton Candy, and Velveeta. David Spade and Pam Anderson laugh. *NSYNC laughs. The ladies do a good job, but we don't understand how anyone let this happen. Aaron and Nick Carter are confused. Sisqo smiles; for some reason, he has a Band-Aid on his face. Velveeta goes into the audience and kisses Steven Tyler. Sandra Bullock feels bad for everyone, but laughs. Freddie Prinze Jr. and Sarah Michelle Gellar look upset. So do we.
continue to pg 2
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