Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I Was Dreaming When I Wrote This
By Cindy McLennan | Season 5 | Episode 4 | Aired on 02.04.2009
The strand-aways reach camp, but there's no beer, no Bernard and Rose, and no whoever else hasn't been offed by flaming arrows. The camp looks beat up, but I can't remember whether or not it should. Locke says, "I wonder how long ago all this happened," and as Sawyer curses the empty beer cans, Locke finds Vincent's homemade leash. Then, Daniel realizes the Zodiac is gone. In its place are two canoes Daniel deems pretty old, but Miles, retrieving a bottle of water from one, begs to differ. Sawyer reads the label: "Ad-jur-ah," but Juliet corrects him. "Ajira -- it's an airline. It's based out of India, but they fly everywhere." The production team has even created a website -- check out the "destination unknown" package, but still... it's no Barney's Blog. The gang wonders if Bernard, Rose and whoever else is left took the Zodiac to flee the canoe people.
Sawyer cracks that maybe Ajira has a flight off Craphole Island -- to Vegas, but I'm thinking it's more likely they have a flight to there -- from LAX. What? The escape-aways have to get back, somehow. He then gestures towards the canoes and asks, "Who came in these -- other Others?" Juliet's all, "Don't look at me," but if I were Sawyer, I'd have at least her, Locke and Daniel up against a bamboo pole right about now, with my gun pointed in their faces, and I'd be demanding better answers -- even if they had to make them up. And they probably would, which is probably why Sawyer doesn't expend the energy. Poor thing doesn't even have a piss warm skunked Dharma beer to quench his thirst. Locke, trying something new, decides to be the voice of reason and suggests that whoever came in the canoes, perhaps it would be best not to wait and find out who they are and when they're coming back. Finally, the entire gang of misfits agrees on something, and pulls the canoe towards the ocean.
At sea with grim faces, our strand-aways row, row, row their boat. Miles is the first to break the silence. "This plan sounded a hell of a lot better when we were going by motorboat. How far is this place?" Locke motions to the horn of the island and explains it's around that point and won't be more than a couple of hours. Miles says, "Oh, joy."
Juliet looks back at Sawyer and asks if he's all right. He tells Juliet that before the flash last night, he saw Kate in the jungle -- delivering Claire's baby. When Juliet mentions that happened two months ago, Sawyer says, "Time travel's a bitch." Suddenly, a shot rings out and someone (Juliet, I think) hollers at everyone to get down. Sawyer looks behind him, and there's another small craft -- possibly the canoe -- following them. Another shot fires and Sawyer yells at everyone to paddle, which causes me to dissolve into fits of giggles. I can't describe the image it gives me -- suffice it to say I've watched too many cartoons. The gang paddles frantically, with Locke yelling at them to pull (which makes no sense) or move, and I'm giggling so hard I'm going to get the hiccups. Miles says, "I think they want their boat back," and I have to pause the TV to catch my breath, even though the music is trying to tell me this is a desperate serious scene and in no way at all funny. Okay, better now. Miles asks Juliet if these are her people. Juliet says no and asks if they're Miles's people. Sawyer tells them both to shut up and keep paddling, and a bullet leaves a whole smack dab in the middle of his paddle. He drops it and asks Juliet for a little help, so she hands him her oar and breaks out the rifle, and gets off three or four more rounds, while Sawyer yells for the crew to paddle harder, because "they're" getting closer. Just then, we hear the buzzing sound of an approaching flash. Everyone looks around, and then cringes from the sound and light -- while Sawyer looks heavenward and screams, "Thank you, Lord!" And? FLASH! They jump to the middle of the night -- in the pouring rain. Thunder and lightning make the night more exciting, and Sawyer yells at God, "I TAKE THAT BACK!" And my hiccups start, now. What's your hiccup cure? I take a spoonful of sugar and water. It probably works 75% of the time, which isn't too bad. Meanwhile, Locke tells everyone to paddle and head toward shore.